4 Reasons Law School Makes You Undateable

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I met my mom and her friend for lunch, and the first thing her friend asked me was if I already have a boyfriend. I answered, “I’m focusing on my academics.” Then, she said: “That’s the problem. You’re in law school.” Is law school the reason why I’m single? Here are some reasons why law school may be the problem, based on observation, random asking, and personal experience.

1. Law students live in a cave.

And that cave is made up of jurisprudence, law provisions, terror teachers, and excruciating exams. Law students rarely have time to interact with the world outside. Ironically, law students are (supposedly) well-versed in the law but they are also generally clueless in the world of legal practical application a.k.a. the real world. Law students are deeply focused and obsessed with the things that make up their lovely little cave that they find no interest and energy to go outside. They rarely meet new people so they usually mingle with each other and interbreed. If you are late in the game or you don’t like anyone in your law school cave, you end up with nothing or you choose to be single and be infinitely happier as compared to settling.

2. Law students don’t have time.

Dating is a chore because it should always be scheduled with studying. When a law student is not doing anything, he or she is studying. In other words, studying is the default, not breathing. Sure, they let loose a lot of times. I have met the wildest (bordering on hedonistic) party people in law school, and alcohol gets us through the week; but these let-loose moments are timed and scheduled. It’s always in consideration of an exam or a particularly demanding teacher. Because even when law students party, at the back of their minds, they are thinking about the workload for the next day.

The phenomenon of not having time exists even with law school couples, who don’t go out on dates but go out on study dates. The possibility of romance also grows when students “study together.” Flirtation and seduction are squeezed into study groups, and sexiness is measured by how eloquently one can recite a case. Clearly, law students have so little time because of the academic workload that they have to multi-task to survive (study-eat, study-flirt, study-date, study-drive, study-shower). So if you are in the way of studying, you are, simply put, in the way – so get out of the way.

3. Law students have standards.

Law students are in law school, and survive law school, because law students are not idiots. While the decision to chain themselves to a high-stress academic environment for years can only be characterized as insane, law students are generally smart. Everyday is a logic game, connecting provisions with another, making conclusions. Classes are warzones where teachers fire questions and students are expected to fire back correct answers. This kind of environment has engineered law students to see through BS, lies, and inconsistencies. Law students have little patience to weave through the mysteries of humanity. Like reading an exceptionally long Supreme Court decision, law students immediately want to get to the facts, issues, held, and ratio.

4. Conclusion

Law school can turn otherwise normal, functioning men and women into highly flawed individuals. Law students are generally driven to succeed, fatally focused on getting the grade, and in possession of daunting standards.

But the problem isn’t law school.

The struggle to find that special someone is found in the halls of every building; it’s there for people studying, working, or bumming. Law school can amplify some aspects that make it hard to find that elusive true love, but it’s not the problem, and it shouldn’t be the problem. My decision to go to law school was for my own self-improvement, and calling it “the problem” belittles something I truly believe makes me a better person.

I’d like to think that if some intrepid person would attempt to scale the walls of law school trauma and try to get to know a law student, he or she would be vastly rewarded. Because for all the flaws, challenges, and occasional crazy, I count law students as some of the most confident, intelligent, interesting, and dependable men and women of my acquaintance.

Given a chance, a law student can love someone with the same level of diligence and intensity he or she dedicates to the study of law. That is, if that law student also realizes that he or she should also make time, get off his or her high horse, and realize that there is also life outside that legal cave. Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the law, it’s not just about you and your one-track mind to law school success; it’s about compromise and balance. Make a note.

Now, time to go back reviewing for my exam on taxation.

image – Flickr / Tulane Public Relations