We’ve all seen movies like “He’s Just Not That Into You,” “10 Things I Hate About You,” and “Stuck In Love,” while assessing each character’s relationship, until we find one that fits with our own situations. And then with the intention of and by allowing movies like this make us think of him, we allow ourselves to log on our facebooks, instagrams, twitter pages, what have you, and restart the ENTIRE process of sulking over again, as we find ourselves typing his name into our search bars. Who is he? He’s the one who you don’t know how to get over. The guy who friend-zoned you. The guy who you’ve never actually MET before, but could name his 4 closest friends based on all of the creeping you’ve done. The guy who you hooked up with for 6 months, until one day, you just stopped hearing from him. The guy who treated you as if you didn’t mean a thing to him one-way or the other. The guy who we know all too well.
So I’m not going to give to advice on how to get over him. Or tell you that you are a devoted girl who deserves a label if that’s what you’re after. Or even that I think you should move on and find someone more worthy of your time.
What I’m saying is to stop going through his social media until 3am, wishing you could reverse the clocks and change how it all came crashing down. Stop obsessing over every single consonant that he has every texted you, and stop evaluating “what he really means” through those texts. Most importantly, stop READING every single repetitive, feel good, “the right guy is out there” article that pops up on your newsfeed and start DOING some things for yourself!
1. Focus on school/work
If you’re in school, out of school, looking for a job, entering school, TRYING to enter school then work. on. that. Is it really going to matter 6 years from now that a boy told you he didn’t want a girlfriend and then got one two weeks later? No. What will matter however, is the countless hours you spent crying to your bestfriends, or listening to the most relatable Taylor Swift song (at that moment,) that you could have spent studying, writing your papers, and getting yourself some hard-earned A’s in your classes.
I’m not one to preach fit-fam or anything (don’t worry) but sign yourself up at a gym. Stress, anxiety, depression, alllllll will go away once those endorphins kick in. One of the best ways to feel good is to look good…and if you’re aiming to make an ex jealous then, that should do it. So put your “feel good/hot ass/I’m an invincible MF with a cute butt” playlist together, and get your butt on the elliptical.
3. Spend time with those you love
And I don’t just mean your roommates. I mean your dog. Your parents. Your grandparents. Old friends that you’ve lost touch with. Anyone who makes you laugh. And honestly, anyone who’s constantly throwing compliments your way because who doesn’t love that person.
4. Do the things that you love
Read a book. Read 14 books. Go to a baseball game. Watch 37 episodes of SVU. Nap. Bake a cake. Take a kickboxing class. Do it because you want to, do it because you have time to, and do it because no guy is there to tell you that you can’t.
If you’re stressing about getting over someone, or upset about the same boy who keeps doing the same shitty things, then work on yourself. Stop reading about getting over it, and start actually doing it.
Besides, how can you expect the next lucky bastard that gets to be with you to love you, if you don’t already love yourself? There’s beauty in confidence, and you’ll be sure to find that in yourself once you start DOING. I promise.