The Things You Learn When You Finally Let Yourself Grow Into Who You Are Meant To Be

happy woman smiling in sunglasses
Roxanne Desgagnes

I’ve learned that being alone has been the best thing for my personal growth that I didn’t even know I needed. Spend time alone. Sit with it. Draw a map of yourself. You learn what makes you, you. Stay true to that version of yourself.

I’ve learned that people come and go from your life, and that’s okay. People aren’t meant to stay forever. Some people come into your life to teach you a lesson, you’ll do the same for others. Let the connection be what it is.

I’ve learned to nurture the relationships you do care about. Love and friendship take work. Make an effort to check up on the people you want in your life.

I’ve learned to combat your hate with an effort to understand. Hate is easy, but it’s possible to love anyone if you take time to see their heart rather than dismiss them. Make an effort to see the good in others.

I’ve learned human connection is the most powerful force on earth. Despite the differences, despite your pasts, despite your views, being able to sit down and have an open conversation with someone can bridge any sort of differences. Be open to hearing others out, and having them hear you in return.

I’ve learned the only person you can really rely on is yourself. If you have confidence in anyone, have it be you.

I’ve learned you can only have what’s meant for you. No matter how much you force a job, a relationship, a desire, you can only do so much. Work hard for what you want, but let go what is taking more out of you than you are getting back.

With this, I’ve learned you can’t make anyone love you or see the good in you. All you can do is be a person who allows others to love them and radiates good.

I’ve learned to care, to be passionate. Care about politics, about people, about space, about the world, about anything that makes you excited. The most interesting people are the people who care. Don’t get caught up in a mindset where you dismiss things that are not directly affecting you.

I’ve learned to never suppress a generous thought. I learned the power of a compliment, how something someone said about me can resonate with me for days. I learned I want to be that person for others and when I think kindly about someone, to always let them know.

I’ve learned that the idea of timing is just something we construct ourselves. If you want a job, apply for it now. If you to travel, do it now. If you like someone, you’ll make it work now, despite your previous reservations. Stop blaming timing for not reaching for things that you want.

I’ve learned the worst thing you can do is make excuses for toxic people in your life and to continue thinking time will change them. People don’t need time to realize that treating you like trash isn’t right. People don’t need time to realize how good you are. Don’t make excuses for people. People will never change until they choose to change.

I’ve learned how to love. But most importantly, I learned how to love myself. And if someone crosses the line where I have to choose between the love I can give to them, and the love I can give myself, they will lose.

I’ve learned the beauty of being vulnerable: that opening yourself up is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Allowing someone to see your insides is an act of bravery.

I’ve learned that giving when you expect something in return always leads to disappointment. Give what you have without expectations, without searching for praise. Good will always come back to you.

I’ve learned that everything is entirely up to the universe. Learn to enjoy the place you’re at now.

I’ve learned that every day, every hour, is an opportunity for me to turn things around if I don’t like where I’m headed. Every moment is an opportunity for me to grow into the person I’m going to be. TC mark

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