2019 was probably the hardest year I’ve lived through in a long time, not going to lie. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I could be taken down by something as simple as a sentence. I learned that I could have the courage to admit that I wasn’t okay. I learned that people are temporary, and no matter how much you wish them into permanence, it doesn’t always work out that way. But undoubtedly, the most important lesson I learned was that home could be a person, and I found that home in a young man from Holmes Chapel, England, named Harry Styles.
From the very start, Harry felt like more than just another artist in my playlist. It wasn’t just about the music to me. Listening to Harry was sometimes the only thing that made me feel alive. He got me through so many of those rocky journeys in 2019, and because of him, I finally feel like I can say truthfully that I feel okay. That would’ve been a difficult thing for me to say, but because of him, I feel like it’s finally true. I finally feel okay.
In 2020, I want to do more than just survive. I want to do more than just merely scoot by with my headphones in and the world tuned out. Because of the way Harry has inspired me, I want to do more with these next 12 months because honestly, the possibilities are endless.
In 2020, I promise myself this:
I promise to always live life in the moment, and never take a single second for granted.
I promise to never stop talking about the things I’m passionate about.
I promise to live bolder.
I promise to do all the things that make me happiest in the world.
I promise to stop thinking and analyzing and worrying about what everyone else in the world thinks about me.
I promise to smile through the hardest times because even though the world may try, nothing can take away my happiness but me.
I promise to always be gentle with myself.
I promise to treat people with kindness, even when it’s hard.
I promise to never, ever, ever forget all the hard work, pain, and work it took to get here.
I promise to never forget where I belong.
Harry Styles, as silly as it may sound, continues to be the light that guides me through. I will never, ever be able to consciously put into words what this mere stranger has done for me, but I can say this: he mended a heart that I thought would never be full again, and because of him, 2020 will be the year that I rediscover who I am. I hope this year will do the same for you.