I really need a hug from my hero right now.
There was a warmth I felt when you were still around, and now I need it more than ever. As silly as it sounds, I miss you. I miss someone I never knew.
I wish I wouldn’t have been so scared to love you. I wish I would’ve loved you as fearlessly as you loved me, but I was just so scared. Now that you’re gone, I’m scared, but for different reasons.
I’m scared that I never gave you the love you deserved.
I’m scared that I’ll never get the chance to tell you what you needed to hear.
I’m scared that you never knew what you meant to me.
Looking back, the fears I had then were nothing compared to what sits in my heart now. The weight of the guilt that lives there today is crippling, but it’s too late. What’s done is done. You’re gone. All this time I had with you, I wasted.
All I can do now is talk to the stars. All I can do now is hope that you can hear my quiet prayers. All I can do now is try to unwind years of pretending you weren’t there.
I hope you can hear me, but maybe I don’t. Maybe you need to disappear from my life for good. Maybe there needs to be no more silent conversations at night, no more prayers, no more gripping for dear life to the love that once existed here.
Maybe I hope you can’t hear me because the truth is, do you really need to hear me cry for you? Do you really need to hear me at my weakest moment, screaming for you to come back?
I know it has to be painful for you too, being so far away, but I really need a hug from you right now. I just need to know that you’re still around, even if it’s just in my heart. Just give me that, please.
I need you.