12 Things Absolutely No Woman Has To Be

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Becca Tarter / Unsplash

1. A woman doesn’t have to be a lady.

Curse. Uncross your legs if it’s uncomfortable. Wear what you want, when you want. Your clothes don’t determine your worth, your mouth doesn’t reflect your grace, and your posture doesn’t determine your mindset.

It’s your life, it’s your voice. Pick yourself up off the floor, scream at the top of your lungs, and stop apologizing for it.

2. A woman doesn’t have to be a mother.

I can tell you from personal experience that working with kids makes me want to down an entire bottle of birth control, and I still want kids! Some people just aren’t cut out for a life of putting a little one first. Being a woman doesn’t sign you up for motherhood. You don’t owe that to anyone, and that’s okay. Do you hear me? That’s OKAY.

3. A woman doesn’t have to be a wife.

Just like she doesn’t have to be a mom, she doesn’t have to be a wife either. Stop trying to enforce the false idea that a woman has to be married to be happy. I know plenty of women who are thrilled with their cat, their fuzzy socks, and a Lifetime movie. Plus, marriage is like caring for an adult child anyway and trust me, not everyone wants that.

4. A woman doesn’t have to be angry.

Yes, I know that women have suffered for years. Yes, I know that we still aren’t equal. But being angry about it isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t like to spend their energy on such negativity. Now me, give me a sign and a pitchfork & I’ll march side-by-side with you every day of the week.

5. A woman doesn’t have to be submissive.

A woman isn’t your object. She isn’t your toy. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you, she doesn’t have to. IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO.

6. A woman doesn’t have to be feminine.

I like superheroes and wrestling, but last time I checked, I’m still a female. The hobbies that I engage in do not change my gender. I’m still a woman, and a badass one if I do say so myself.

7. A woman doesn’t have to be patient.

She doesn’t have to wait for you to be ready. Let’s be honest, she’s waited long enough.

8. A woman doesn’t have to be one step behind her man.

She’s your equal. She’s not “the woman behind the man.” She’s her own person. She has her own thoughts and contributions, and she’s just as much a gift to this universe as you are. Treat her that way.

9. A woman doesn’t have to be dainty.

WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO BE A SIZE 2. I will never be. I’ve wasted the last 3 years of my life hating myself. I’m tired of it. I’m ready to give myself the love that I deserve.

10. A woman doesn’t have to be yours.

She’s wild, and she’s free. You can’t tie her down, and you’ll never be able to. She’s not yours; she never was.

11. A woman doesn’t have to be a woman.

I think we all can agree that living a life that doesn’t feel like your own has to be the worst possible thing we could imagine, so why are we still attempting to assign every human with their biological gender? Give everyone the love they deserve, and you’ll find that you’re too busy admiring their smile rather than judging their gender.

12. A woman doesn’t have to be anything she doesn’t want to be.

It’s time to change the conversation. Women aren’t objects, or toys, or games. They are vining branches of lilac, a wisp of fresh air in the morning sun, or an endless love that gets better day after day. They are something to be admired and honored. It’s time to recognize women as people. She doesn’t have to be anything she doesn’t want to be. She knows that now, and soon, she’ll be strong enough to say no. TC mark

Hannah Irelan

someone who speaks her struggles through words.

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The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi. All that is dark or cracked within us has the capacity to be fixed, to be filled with light. We are never broken. We are always becoming. 

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