I hate to be the one to tell you, but you will never look perfect. No one ever will. Perfection is not real when it comes to you as a person or your body. The sooner you start striving for health, confidence, and acceptance, the happier you will be.
We need to focus on highlighting our assets and creating loving, supportive, and kind relationships with our bodies. Now, that’s not to say you can’t strive to look and feel your best—a significant factor of self-love is confidence—but you must come to grips with the fact that you will not be perfect. If we all spent as much time honoring ourselves as we do, picking apart many aspects of our reflection, we would all be happier women.
There are many instances where I’ve turned down invitations or experiences because I was too worried about what to wear or I was concerned about feeling self-conscious. If a friend said such a thing to me, I would feel sad. Sad that they thought so highly of what others thought that they would choose to pass up on fun, on an adventure, and potential moments of laughter. I used to believe that after specific weight loss goals were met, my life would automatically improve. Again, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that won’t be the case. There is no perfect body, no perfect size, and no one way we should all look.
It’s time we as women reclaim our bodies and start focusing on what feels good to each of us instead of what might appeal to someone else. If you want to lose weight to be healthier, more comfortable, and more confident, by all means, please give yourself the time and attention you deserve. But do not do so to please someone else. If you want to go through a body modification procedure like piercings and tattoos to highlight your assets, add creativity to your body, or add inspiration or nostalgia, go for it. The world needs more individuality. If you want to have a procedure done to correct an area of your body that you are self-conscious about, please feel free to do so, but, only if you are choosing to do so as an individual and not in an attempt to achieve a certain look that you think is more widely adored.
Confidence is incredibly valuable, and I wish an immense amount of it for all women. But I hope it comes from knowing how incredibly special, valued, loved, and beautiful you are, exactly as you are, and not from a place of superiority because of your figure.
Those thighs you hate because they jiggle when you walk or are covered in cellulite are powerhouses of strength that offer you the ability to move from place to place. Appreciate them for what they allow you to do and where they take you.
That stomach that is too round for your liking or has one roll too many is why you have the energy to exist. It’s the place that processes the nutrients that allow you to function. Be grateful for it and its abilities.
Those arms that are too big or that shake when you move them are, for many of us, the methods in which we perform any and every task. Tasks like writing, cooking, drawing, pressing play on our current Netflix binge, bringing a glass of wine to our mouths, self-pleasure, or the hug it allows you to provide to a friend or family member and everything else in between. When these tasks are happening, acknowledge the sheer magic that it is to be alive right now experiencing these actions. Many people would be incredibly grateful for one if not two functioning arms—do not take yours for granted because they aren’t as toned as you would like.
Allow yourself to feel beautiful, sexy, and confident in the exact skin you are in. In doing so, you are immediately allowing yourself to be even more of those things. Lean into the idea of loving your body, all while becoming your healthiest self. This way of thinking will produce a woman who glows from the inside out, full of power, peace, and self-love. That woman is unstoppable.