The Price Of Disconnection

You are loved. We rarely say it to each other, if not at large. We do not recognize it in moments, and there is a stigma associated with saying and feeling it — our society doesn’t allow for us to meet, establish a connection, acknowledge that connection and then deepen it. We actually have a series of barriers erected inside our individuality, in our rituals (drinking, casual sex, etc), our devices which substitute our physical communication, and even the very accessories we put on our bodies to maintain a distance. We don’t physically touch each other comfortingly unless we know the person and it’s a small percentage of those at best.

We revel in it. I do. I spent years drinking, fucking, shifting identities, brooding, and acting out often times in emotional outbursts of anger and frustrated love belying this simple fact:

I was not connected.

We are disconnected from ourselves, others, and unable to experience the larger forces at play.

We are terrified of identifying and acknowledging it.

To realize its truth, think on how we propagate our species. We are born pure, free from these associations, and our first act is to demand that connection, in our voices and tears. Once we are held, we demand it with non verbal communication — we look to our mothers with a transmission of love and ask that our mother, the first we transmit love to, sees us transmitting. Do you see that I love you? Yes, I see it, thank you, and I will protect you. We learn that receiving love is the most important transaction to bind our humanity, but for years forget to foster the skill as the ultimate tool to our eventual happiness.

This basic handshake of broadcasting and receiving love is the guideline for human interaction that we ignore. We don’t meet and stare deeply into each eyes with intent and an open being seeking to connect. We consider that odd bordering on anathema. As new borns we also don’t do it because we know who mom is and we have reserved the privilege of love for her alone. We do it because we have just arrived, and we are involuntarily attempting to connect to a greater whole.

This disconnection has a major toll.

On a large scale, our leaders spend millions and in many cases are unable to connect with us — in it’s absence they peddle fear to incite other emotions. The products of a disconnected leadership structure are terrifying — dictatorships, war, and suffering.

We perpetuate it with booze and social rituals. We literally poison ourselves and substitute true emotion with fucking, or chasing the next high. Don’t get it twisted — its a ton of fun which is why we keep doing it. Nor am I suggesting you stop. Live your damn life. But note the toll taken with your removal from something lasting and meaningful. Note your health. Note that we all, at one point or another, issue an unnecessary rebellion against our frustration — and then accept that the core of it is our inability to bridge the most basic human divide.

We’ve become the generation of implosion, rather than any positive alternative of development.

The key is to understand that we are naturally wired to connect. There is a deep and mostly indescribable feeling that occurs when we make ourselves open. Breathe. Please. Three breathes, as deep as possible. Your natural state of being is one of utter perfection. To understand your narrative is not written — you have each day to change it, cease acts of implosion and find your personal legend, the story of how you create lasting meaning in this life. Breathe. Come back to this place of vulnerability knowing that in the devastation you will inevitably feel in the heart, there is so much truth to be learned. Breath for a world in which we eliminate as much needless suffering as we can. Acknowledge that our first obligation is to be that simple human who can simply join. Perhaps we stop trying to outrun this devastation and self loathing, embrace it, sit with it for a while and let it move us into the next phase. If you’re reading this you should know I love you. Breath it in.

For we somehow manage to think in a universe filled with 400 billion stars, our self importance justifies us not connecting with each other, this world or anything else outside it in the unknown.

I see you. With a face that could launch a thousand ships. With eyes that reduce my being to its most common parts. With more energy than an inferno, light dwarfing stars. With a power unchecked, unbridled and running rampant. And you have my thanks for reminding me, deeply, about this noble truth; the beauty in devastation. The importance of coherence. Unity. Hope.

That the price of our disconnection over time is our humanity, of lost love, and of policies which will perpetuate our suffering to extinction. Or worse; of never evolving.

Please breath and ask your heart to remember, for in it is the truth of one billion years of expansion from one central point to which this will all return. Please find it in yourself in a quiet moment, and know it to be true.

You’re loved.Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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