You Said You Loved Me But You Destroyed Me

Just hearing your name makes my heart ache from missing you. I’ve always wished you the best, because even though you’re a million miles away, you’ll always be a part of me. I didn’t choose you out of loneliness, I chose you because to me, you are everything; every bone in my body, every beat in my heart beats for you. It has been over a year now and I’m still waiting for another chance, for luck to bring us back together.

But let me tell you something, nothing hurts as bad as waiting for someone you know is not coming back. I saw it coming though, but at the same time I never thought the world could possibly be so cruel as to push us that far.

They say if two people are meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back; but it has been too long and my heart just can’t bear it anymore. It’s my entire fault anyway; I let you go so easily, I destroyed the only thing I have ever loved.

However, no one in the world deserves to be that miserable, no matter what they may have done. It’s not fair to live this way, everything moves in slow motion, it’s like the world is standing still and I’m lost in the stillness. Losing you screwed me up, it messed with my head, I couldn’t think straight. I lost my way trying to find yours. Ever since then, I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of, but I wasn’t thinking at the time; all I wanted was to kill the pain, to be numb; even though I knew they were mistakes, I couldn’t help but do it.

What hurts more is that you left in complete silence, without leaving me the slightest hint. My mind has gone crazy trying to figure out the true reason why you left. Maybe if I knew, I’d feel better, I would finally get my closure.

I smelled your perfume yesterday, and it’s crazy just how a smell could bring back so much memories. Just the smell killed me inside. I bet no one has ever experienced that heart crushing feeling; but let me tell you, it hurts like hell. I don’t think anything or anyone could ever fill the void that you left. No one compares to you, you were my first love, and I wish with all my heart for you to come back and be my last.

It will never make sense to me though, how can someone just stop loving you, how is that even possible.

One day you mean the world to them, the next day BAM! They’re gone. My mind still can’t grasp that.

It terrifies me as fuck how I have this feeling that I could never let you go, you hold a special place in my heart and I don’t think I could ever let that go. However, I’m sure it was love; it was definitely true love, because no one is that cruel to play you for 6 damn years.

I sincerely hope that one day you look back and remember us, and I hope on that day you feel every emotion that I felt ever since you left. I hope your heart aches like mine did, and I hope you feel that heart crushing feeling I have everyday, but most of all, I hope you regret ever letting me go just like that; because that was definitely not love, and because you do not destroy the people that you love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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