You are NOT alone. You always wonder how these groups of 4-5 girls can hang out with each other all the time and never fight, never get tired of each other, and never get so annoyed with each other that they can’t stand it. Well, truth be told, they do. But still, how do all these girls get along with each other, how do they relate? When I try to relate to other girls, they look at me like I’m from Mars. What do they have in common that you don’t? I myself have been asking these questions my whole life. Believe it or not, I strongly suspect that girls like us are the silent majority.
I have a total of MAYBE three female friends that I can tolerate, and I barely even hang out with two of them. In total I have a whopping ONE female friend that I see, talk to, and hang out with on a regular basis. And sometimes, I don’t even like HER. My whole life, I have felt vastly more comfortable hanging out with the boys, being “one of the guys” and I like it that way. Some people say that “girls are more drama” and I don’t necessarily think that statement is entirely true. Guys have drama, but they deal with their drama in VASTLY different ways than girls do.
For these reasons, among others, I have always fit in more with guy groups than with girls. And with that, I always felt super hesitant when my guy friends would even bring girls around. And the WORST thing is being in a social setting where I am surrounded by other females. Like I said, I have a total of 3 friends that are female, so being alone surrounded by females is the most intimidating thing imaginable.
When guy friends get mad or upset about something, they confront one another, fight or argue, possibly end up in a brawl, and then they get over it. Girls hold grudges until the end of time.
Guy friends usually don’t read into things as much as girls do, so they won’t even notice that you might have maybe possibly looked at them a certain way by accident. And if they do notice, they won’t think anything of it and they most likely won’t say anything about it. They will probably forget about it within a few minutes.
Guy friends won’t get jealous because you stole their man or their earrings. You most likely don’t have the same taste in partners, and if you do those partners probably wouldn’t be interested in both of you anyways. Guy friends might get mad if you steal their hoodie, though.
Guy friends will tell you exactly how it is. They will tell you when you’re being a bitch, or when you’re being too sensitive, or when you have done something to royally piss them off. Guy friends are GREAT communicators when it comes to friendships. You usually don’t have to walk on eggshells trying not to do anything wrong, because they don’t care what you do anyway.
Girls are judgmental, so you are constantly worrying about what they might be judging about you. Is it your shoes, your hair, your jeans? Who knows because…
Girls NEVER tell you what they are thinking. They will silently pick apart your entire outfit and then tell you that they like your nails.
Girls hold grudges for things that you didn’t even know you did. A girl could claim to not like you for looking at her the wrong way in second grade when she accidentally stepped on your shoe.
Girls read into EVERYTHING. Girls will take one tiny thing that you do unknowingly, and turn it into a huge ordeal. Looked at a girl for two seconds? She now thinks that you were staring at her because you’re friends with someone who knows her ex and he probably told that person and that person probably told you something that is TOTALLY not true about her. When in reality you were looking at her because you were trying to figure out where she got her shirt.
Girls are EMOTIONAL. Guy friends can definitely be emotional too, but not in the same ways. Guy friends usually won’t cry because you had to cancel coffee.
Girls are just plain mean. We are all aware that Resting Bitch Face is a thing, and yet we still automatically assume the worst when we see a girl with a slightly not-so-enthused expression on her face. But most girls don’t even give those girls a chance. Most girls with RBF will light up automatically when another girl approaches them. Girls will gossip, lie, and manipulate other females because they get so encompassed in the drama. Guys simply don’t care enough to do all of that.
So if you are like me, and you never really fit in with the “girlfriends” I want you to know that you are not alone in that. Honestly, I think that a lot of girls feel that way. And I also don’t think that you should ever feel embarrassed that you don’t have many girl friends, because even having ONE girl friend is an empowering feat for girls like us. Having at least one female that you can relate to or talk to, is awesome.
And if not, embrace being “one of the guys.”
There is no shame in being “one of the guys” if that is where you feel most comfortable. But remember, not every girl with RBF is really a bitch, and not every girl is worth trying to be friends with. Embrace the friends you DO have. Confidence is key. Don’t let those other girls intimidate you, and don’t ever feel left out of those girl groups. Because 9 times out of 10, they aren’t all they’re cracked up to be anyway.
Any friendship that doesn’t feel genuine isn’t going to be a positive one.