Trigger warning: Abuse, sexual assault
I’m sorry. What I have to tell you is unfair in so many ways but undeniably true. Sometimes we like to forget that we’re human; we have faults. We’re so fragile that one bad vibration can cause catastrophic consequences.
You may not need this letter, but I did. I still do. It’s never easy to forget the words they say; the hands they put on you is something you’ll always remember, no matter how much you want to erase it from your mind. Maybe our brains are hardwired to make us recollect the pain, the fear, so we always stay vigilant.
To the ones who have been through things no one should go through, I won’t ask the typical, “What happened?”
I know that if you understand, then that’s all that needs to be said.
No, I’m not going to ask that question.
I’m going to ask questions that others are too afraid to ask.
Why do we pick people who hurt us? Who makes us believe that we’re worthless? Who kick us when we’re down instead of being the reason we always get back up or stand by us when we can’t. The world is cruel in various ways, but I think the most brutal form of all is creating wolves in sheep’s clothing.
I won’t tell you to leave or that you’re an idiot for staying. I won’t ask you to get over it and move on. I will tell you that you are worth so much more than what they tell you. I will tell you that the more you feed into what they say and what they do, the worse it’ll get. The harder it’ll be. I will tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong. I will tell you it wasn’t your fault.
When we’re young, we read love stories. It comes in different forms—friendships, partnerships, romance, family. In the end, it is all the same. It’s love. Such a simple four-letter word that holds so much meaning. We read these stories, and as we grow up, it’s then that people tell us that it’s a fairytale. Let me tell you something about fairytales: they exist. They have to, don’t they? I don’t believe that someone out there magically thought of a love so strong without having felt it. Humans aren’t that creative.
So, I’ll ask again.
Maybe it’s because you’re scared you won’t find your fairytale. Perhaps it is because you grew up in a home where love was scarce and passion was but a dream. Possibly because someone once said that you deserved it, and it was easier to believe the heinous lies than the gracious truth. That truth is a simple one.
Many words can follow that: You are more. You are magnificent, You are remarkable, You are worthy, You are extraordinary. Though to me, the words “You are” can be enough because you still are. You’re here. Not many people can live with what we have to. Some people don’t have the dilemma of “to stay or not to stay” because they didn’t think of it ever happening to them when they were walking down the street or going to a party and accepting a drink they had no way of knowing was laced.
I’m glad for the one who reads this and has no idea what we’re discussing. I hope you never have to understand. But to the ones who understand, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to be strong even when it feels like you’re breaking, like you’re seconds away from absolute destruction.
This letter is to remind you of how worthy you are for those of you who need it. Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes make us, but you don’t have to let it define you. Horrible things can happen, and it isn’t fair, but when has life ever been fair?
No matter if you’re broken-hearted from hands that touched you in vile ways, fingers that wandered into places without permission, or people that used their words like weapons—it doesn’t mean you have to shatter.
Someone fixing their broken heart