Recently I’ve been in the beginning stages of starting over in the relationship department. After countless horrible first dates with the wrong guys from my hometown, the brother of one of my friends randomly direct messaged me on Twitter. No, he was not suave and did not “slide into my DMs”; he was nice and simply said that we seemed to be going through something similar at that point in our lives and the conversations just continued to flow from there. From bonding over our love of Parks and Rec to our mutual hatred of people, we exchanged phone numbers and built a friendship from there. It seemed harmless and simple and I liked that even though we were using technology to get to know each other, it seemed real, and not superficial. Technology can be both deep and shallow – something that we seem to forget.
Over the next two-and-a-half months we got closer and talked constantly every day, I never knew that it was so easy to fall for someone that you only had only known via technology, but it was so very easy for me. We quickly developed from a friendship to a type of relationship that involved making plans to visit each other and see how things worked out in the manner of seriously talking while we’re apart for school. How strange of a thing this was to me, but it happened so easily and I didn’t want to question it – I still don’t want to, I’m banking on making things work.
Technology has seriously changed the way we connect and date and make decisions based on potential relationships. Shows like Catfish and apps like Tinder make it so easy to fall for someone who is not who they claim to be, using smooth pickup lines and giving copious amounts of attention. But my case was very different and I could not be more thankful – the cutesy comments were there, but at least I knew the real version of the person I was talking to. Now I am by no means bashing those awesome Tinder relationships that have somehow worked out, kudos to you guys, fate must have been on your side. But my experience of technology and relationships has led me to a tough point. The 2 week visit to Florida where he’s at, was great. I’m an awkward turtle and listen way more often than I speak, sorry Dustin, but I had to take in what I was getting myself into. Technology, in my opinion, helps build the foundation to stronger relationships, but it can also be a huge factor in why things end up not working out. It’s a fine line that has to be walked accordingly.
Now the funny thing about dating, or whatever the situation may be, in the age of technology is how easy it is, and is not, to communicate with the person you are involved with. While being 12 hours away, yes we can communicate however much we would like, though our schedules sometimes prevent this, and that’s where it gets hard for me. I like reassurance in relationships, I like to know that if I’m down for only you, that you’re down for only me – I don’t want to have to worry about other girls being all over someone that I have already called dibs on. Kelsey Ballernini and I have a lot in common in that department. So you can call me the crazy girl, but I know how other females operate and I also know how easy it is for people to change their minds. And technology can make or break relationships sometimes; social media is a huge killer of long distance, so do yourself a favor and try not to obsess, believe me, I know this is much easier said than done – but you’ll thank yourself in the long run.
Maybe it’s because I like to believe the best in people or simply because I feel like he’s someone that I can trust, but technology and the end to a crappy relationship led me to something better, I like to think. When one door closes, another one opens – and sometimes the light behind that newly opened door is a little brighter than the light behind the door that just closed. So that random strange boy from a state that you may not particularly like that randomly DMed you on twitter may be just what your life needs, he may just be worth taking a chance on.