1. “Are you really going to eat that?”
Yes, and now you can’t have a bite.
2. “I feel so fat today”
You finished eating half a slice of pizza and then decide to say this in from of me. After the minimal amount of carbohydrates you’ve just consumed here you are, you have arrived; welcome to the fat club. The reality is you can’t “feel” fat, fat is not an emotion.
Fat is something I carry around with me every day of my life. Sizeism is real, people look down on me and assume things about me just from my appearance. I’m less likely to get hired, and less likely to be desired. If I ever said I “feel” like I have a six pack right now you’d look at me like I was crazy, so stop saying that.
3. Don’t assume I’m on a diet
Have you ever tried to lose a significant amount of weight? It’s so hard, you’re literally sore 24/7 from working out and nutrition becomes a main focus in your life. This is something most people don’t have time to deal with in their daily lives. 98% of dieters gain all the weight they lose back AND they gain an additional 10%. Do you want to know why? Because eating right is really fucking hard, losing weight takes a really long time, and if you want to do it, it takes up a lot of your life. If a fat person chooses not to care about their nutrition that’s none of your business. Some people’s idea of self-love means eating a whole pizza by themselves. That’s more than okay. Let people do what makes them happy, and remember eating healthy does not make you better than anyone else.
4. Don’t congratulate me when you see me at the gym
Comments like “Good for you!” and “You’re doing so well for your size.” are not appreciated. They are so condescending; and I get it, you’re trying to be encouraging but no, just no. When you say this it makes it seem like it is out of the ordinary for me to be at the gym, and that I am out of place. Even just by pointing it out, you are decreasing my desire to want to go to the gym, I don’t want to be stared at or noticed, I just want to fit in and get my sweat on.
5. “Well you’re not as big as *insert larger person’s name here*”
Thank you for this consolation prize. I will put my trophy engraved with the words “Not the fattest ever” on my shelf, would you like a trophy too? Here’s one that says “Kind of a shitty person”: just for you.
6. ANY UNWARRANTED HEALTH ADVICE
It’s in all caps because what the hell guys?! Do you think I don’t know what fruit is? I got two coupons for free chipotle meals so I posted a picture of them on Facebook and somebody decided to write “Don’t eat that, that’s so bad for you!”. I am so sick of skinny people giving fat people unwarranted health advice. If I didn’t ask for any, shut the fuck up. I KNOW ABOUT NUTRITION. FAT PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT NUTRITION. *news flash* fat people are very educated about nutrition because they diet and lose weight all the time, because everyone tells them to all the damn time. If I wanted to eat a chipotle burrito, or fuck even if I wanted to eat both at once, that’s not your problem. You’re not some kind of fat savior when you give out free health advice; you’re an asshole.
7. “You look good! Have you lost weight?”
No, I haven’t lost weight. Yes, I do look good, but that isn’t because some numbers on a scale went down it is because I’m hot as hell.
8. “I wish I had big boobs/butt like you though!”
No you don’t, you don’t want a body that looks anything like mine. Every time I hear this line the insincerity in the room is palpable. If you really wanted to look like me you’d be sitting down with a large bowl of macaroni and cheese, you would be eating an entire chocolate cake like the fat kid in the movie Matilda; attempting to achieve my aesthetic. You don’t wish to trade bodies with me, you’re trying to formulate a compliment, and it’s not working.
9. “You look just like *insert fat celebrity’s name here*!”
I look nothing like Kirstie Alley, I’m sure she is lovely but just because our waistlines are similar doesn’t mean you should mention to me that I look like her. I actually look like a chubby Mila Kunis/Angelina Jolie combination, gosh.