Ever since I was a little girl, I had a plan set in place on what I was going to be and what college I would go to and every little step in between. Needless to say, my dream of becoming a big, successful lawyer who attended Emory University didn’t exactly pan out, and that’s okay.
It actually continued on until after my freshman year of college. After a year’s worth of being a political science student at a small liberal arts school in Ohio. After a summer internship as a human rights writer in the middle of Washington, D.C. After a semester abroad in Europe, studying in the Balkans, and traveling through so many cities.
After all of that, I realized that my dream was no longer to be a lawyer. I switched majors entirely and became a part of the music department, no longer singing and playing instruments as a hobby, but for a career as an educator in the arts.
I would like to say that everything after that worked out in my favor, but depression and anxiety are two very real factors in my life, and I noticed it get worse with each semester that passed by.
I started to hate going to classes that I loved. I fell ill over and over, to the point of heading into the E.R. more than I would have liked. I dropped out of organizations that at one point meant so much to me. Everything seemed to be crashing down around me, and by the time spring break came around, I stayed back and spent those days alone in my dorm room.
And that was it.
That was all that it took for me to finally call it quits and go home, over a thousand miles away. My dad drove all the way up to me to help me pack my life back up, I resigned from the college that same day, and we headed back to Louisiana.
I swore I would never come crawling back with my tail tucked between my legs, but I can at least say that I’m doing better than I was for the past two years. I no longer take medicine daily just to feel happy. I have a job with my best friend, I live in my own studio apartment, and I’ve even adopted a little black kitten to keep me company on days that my mental health just isn’t quite there. I’ve covered my walls with art and photos and stringed lights. Music is still a huge part of my life, and that will never change. My love for traveling hasn’t ceased. I’ve learned to cook and even grow flowers(I have two little plants that have just recently sprouted).
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I’m happier. I felt, and still sometimes feel, that my life was over when I left college, but I’ve gained so many great aspects to my life.
It’s okay to quit to find out what you really want in life.
I’ve learned that what I really want is to move back to Europe, and I’m currently saving up the money to do so, and I haven’t quite given up on a higher education, I’m simply taking my time trying to figure out what it is that I actually want to do.
So, if you are unhappy in your current situation, don’t be afraid to drop it all and start anew. Become who you want to be in this life, even if that labels you as a ‘quitter.’