1. You think you can fix him because he’s got that James Dean, daydream, look in his eyes.
Dude is hot. Like the kind of hot that is dirty. Good girls view bad boys like a valuable piece of trash that they found inside a dumpster. We 100% know you are trash, but we think that maybe, just maybe, this piece of trash is worth something. Scenario: Girl walks into a garage sale and immediately is attracted to an item that is speaking to her. She turns to her friend and says, “Wow! Look at this awesome old cigarette covered Louis Vuitton bag! It might wreak of smoke and look like a fake, but I can like spray something on it and it will get better. I’m going to buy it and invest some time into making it much better than it was before. It’s going to be great once I finish.” Once she realizes that the purse is a hot mess that is unfixable, she throws it on the curb to be picked up by the garbage man. Before the trash can be collected, a jogger runs by and marvels at the purse, which is set out on the street. Not thinking, the person picks it up and carries it home to fix. It’s a vicious cycle. She’ll throw it out in a few months because it is stinking up her house.
2. If he wears leather, has emotional issues, is in a band, or is an egotistical asshole, you are all in.
Feel free to customize the list, but these are the most prevalent reoccurring themes. Some bad boys appear to be super nice guys. I know the binaries of bad boys and nice guys are really much more complex, but generally speaking, it isn’t that difficult to tell whether or not a man has terrible intentions with you.
3. You wonder why you just can’t find a really nice guy.
Answer: because you aren’t into someone who actually treats you like a normal person. You are a bit of a sadist when it comes to relationships. You like the drama that comes with a bad boy. Nice guys are bland and seem like they only want to get to know you. Who wants that?! Stability, a 401k, seriously… go away. You want an escape from your normal every day life. You want someone who takes you on motorcycle rides and has a mohawk. Quit acting like you are having a mid-life crisis at 25.
4. You go on dates with a plethora of men, but nothing changes. You still want the guy who is a butt-head to you.
You can try and try to date men who are vying for your attention, but you want the one who isn’t. It seems to mean something more when he does give you a call. What it really means is that you were on his list of girls to call for the night and you just happened to be the one that picked up. You were the one who wasn’t sick of putting up with his shit. You make up excuses for him, you try to make his actions seem logical. You tell yourself a lie that you really start to believe.
5. You are smart enough to know that you are stupid.
As my best friend and I discussed her love for bad boys, she said: “There are two plots of land and I’m looking at both of them. One area is the most beautiful meadow, filled with all these different amazing flowers. There are so many to pick and all I have to do is decide which one I want. Then there is another area of land located in an industrial park covered in toxic waste. There are five “flowers,” which are more like weeds, sitting right beside a manufacturing plant. The flowers are dying and ugly. I begin to run as fast as I can to this meadow, literally pushing people over to get to these flowers so that I can save them and make them beautiful. I completely ignore the beautiful meadow, because… who cares? That meadow doesn’t have issues and this one needs more attention.” If this situation seems familiar then you know what I’m talking about.
6. You come to the realization that you like bad boys because there is something wrong with you.
The problem lies within yourself, whether it is a lack of respect for yourself or the belief that you aren’t good enough for a guy who treats you right. You are also a bit impatient and unwilling to wait to find that person. Bad boys are a temporary fix. They aren’t deep, they aren’t complex. They just want you for their own selfish purposes. Either to hook up with you or to make sure that no one else has you because you are their territory. Do yourself a favor and let the bad boy go. There are men out there who will not make you feel like shit as soon as you leave their bedroom. You won’t feel a sense of impending dread with them. You will be able to tell that this person really does care about you because he shows you. Be patient and wait for this person. It might seem idealistic, but it is true. Stop abusing yourself with bad boys or men that even try to attempt to play this role. You aren’t going to be the one who changes him. People only change if they want to and you being under his command isn’t going to cause him to change.