16 Kinds Of People Amazon Thinks Will Use The New Amazon Fire Phone

On Wednesday, Amazon introduced its new Fire Phone, a product meant to directly compete with the two largest phone providers in the United States, Apple and Samsung, and immerse users in the world of Amazon.

In a big presentation, Amazon founder and chief executive officer, Jeff Bezos, displayed all the bells and whistles the phone has. In the four years it took to create the phone, Bezos said the company asked itself only one question: “Can we build a better phone for our most engaged customers?”

What followed was a video presentation of the phone in use, featuring “regular people” that are to represent the engaged Amazon customers that would use the phone.

The thing is, after watching it, I was less impressed with the phone and more questioning whether or not Amazon thinks their most engaged customers are only white. Because the cast of characters featured in the video feels more like a commercial for the Mormon church, and less like a fancy new phone.

1. The Nerdy Hipster White Dude

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

2. The Detailed Oriented White Blond Chick (Who Is Probably Bossy)

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

3. The Typical White Game of Thrones Fan

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

4. The White Guy That Talks With His Hands

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

5. The Blond Girl That Used To Be A Cheerleader But Has Since Gone Vegan

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

6. The White (Possibly Jewish) Guy in a V-Neck… Who is Also Probably Gay

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

7. The White Girl You Get Stuck Next to On a Plane

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

8. The Ambiguously White (But Could Possibly Be Mistaken as Latina) Hardworking Mom

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

9. The White Ginger Beefcake

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

10. The Brunette (Who Is White)

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

11. The White Lefty Who Probably Composts

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

12. The Perpetually Surprised White Girl

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

13. The Hip New White Bald Dad

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

14. The White Former High School Football Star aka Brah

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

But they didn’t forget all the minorities! They included….

15. The Asian Guy That Never Looks Directly Into the Camera

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

16. The Black Woman Whose Body Language Reads, “Black People Use Phones Too, Ya Know”

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

But it’s okay, Amazon — even though racial and ethnic minorities make up 28% of the U.S. population while your video features 2 minorities out of the 16 people used (13%), I think we get the message. Only plaid wearing, mostly blond, white engaged Amazon customers are truly immersed (and can afford) new technology. TC mark

Amazon Fire / Amazon
Amazon Fire / Amazon

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