1. Be distinctive.
Stand out from the pack. Women like men who are passionate about something â anything!â whether itâs Civil War history or dubstep. Let that passion shine through. Cultivating a serious interest is the easiest way to not be interchangeable.
Distinctiveness is basically about creativity. If we can debate the pros and cons of using robots to staff McDonaldâs, thatâs awesome. Iâm more into bonding with a partner through interesting conversations than through doing cool stuff together, but action-oriented creativity is just as impressive. A guy once took me on a hiking trip and we scaled the mountain with a path he found himself. Then we camped in a cave. It was great.
2. Have. A. Sense. Of. Humor.
Humor is kind of an innate thing. Iâm not sure you can develop it that much. But an awful lot of people are naturally funny. Whether you have dry observational humor:
Guy In Bar: âI donât give a fuck, yo!â
Dave: âThank God he doesnât give a fuck. If he gave a fuck, itâd be catastrophic.â
or slapstick or cheesy humor: i.e. âMy humor is so cheesy, youâre gonna need crackers in my vicinity,â somebody is going to think youâre funny. And even if we think your jokes are lame, itâs better than having no sense of humor at all. Humor shows that you know how to put people at ease. (Top-notch comedy is designed to put people at ease so theyâll enjoy hearing the dark truths youâre showing about the world. But thatâs a different topic entirely.) If we have the same sense of humor and can build upon each otherâs jokes itâs just about the best feeling ever.
3. We love sensitive guys.
Iâve never been attracted to a Vin Diesel-style he man in my life.
We all like guys who have agency. And a lot of us want the guy to be the leader. (Not me, I want a great conversationalist who lets me take the lead. Iâll be the brilliant artist and heâll be the emotional support who does the PR and the books.) We love it when you show us how much you like us with no filter whatsoever.
I told my boyfriend about how we had to neuter my cat after heâd fathered an unwieldy number of strays behind our house. He went to the bar and he actually told the bartender about how sad it was that my cat had been at the top of his game and canât play anymore. Some people would find that peculiar. But I find it hard not to love a guy who makes it a point to be that interested in things that matter to me.
4. Talk to us about people.
This could be the second part to âWe Love Sensitive Guys,â because it shows youâre attuned to others. We love when you pay attention to why people do what they do. Whoever said gossip isnât valuable must not have read too many fiction novels, because those are also designed to use a few peopleâs stories to tell larger truths about humanity. Even Crime and Punishment.
Weâll date guys who donât look good if their other qualities outweigh that. However, I think that people tend to date people who are in their own ballpark of attractiveness. So if you want a babe, clean up accordingly. And from what I can tell, men respect another man who looks sharp. I hear straight guys saying âOh, heâs a good-looking guyâ about another man like theyâre proud of him. Women are much cattier when they envy someoneâs looks, as Iâm sure you already know. Also, if you think we canât fall in love with a man for his looks, youâre sorely mistaken. It doesnât mean weâll stay in love with him, but a regular joe who just happens to be spectacular looking will get all the short-term attention he wants. I knew a guy like that in college. He didnât even have to talk; he just smiled and the girls threw themselves at him. I hate the âwomen donât care about looksâ double-standard. Most of us are looking for a stable long-term partner. If we want kids, weâre likely to want to stay home with them when theyâre young. So a decent income (decent meaning about 70k) is about what a family-oriented guy should aim for. I do know couples where the woman works and the man raises the kids, but in those cases, Iâd tell the woman to earn that much more. It all depends on what roles you and your partner fall into as a couple. Overall, you being rich is like us being hot: there is a standard we donât want to go below, but somebody being deep-pocketed or gorgeous wonât outweigh someone else who has every other quality we want â unless youâre living an emotionally void lifestyle in which rich man/hot woman are the only descriptors that matter, in which case you already know what to do. I have a male friend whoâs 5â6â, and he used to tell me it sucked. But he seems to get enough attractive women now. I think women get over that shallowness. Just give it time. Distinctiveness is the most important thing here, followed by looks and then humor. The distinctive part could be anything. If youâre a flashy douchebag at the club who gives off an air of smug superiority, you will get laid. Especially if you manage to surround yourself with girls without seeming particularly interested in any of them. We will wonder whatâs so great about you. The opposite tactic also works. Last Friday, I went to a kink party and there was this college kid with long, tangled hair who almost never spoke. He wore those split-toe nylon shoes and just kind of walked around. I wanted to know what the hell he was into. (If youâre on either of these extremes, you have to be attractive. If youâre not, be charming enough and youâll get your way.) Also, crazy guys are hot. Some of the best sex Iâve ever had was with guys in the manic phases of bipolar. Massive ego + lack of inhibition = sexy. Almost all the defiantly unstable young guys Iâve known were drowning in sex. They couldnât sustain good relationships though, and as weâve reached our mid-to-late twenties some of them have started to fix themselves. Because at the end of the day, most people want a life partner who is there for them, and is someone to whom they can relate. 5. Look your best.
6. About moneyâŚ
7. About height…
8. A crib sheet if you just want to get laid:
