To my best friend in the sky, I’ve been meaning to write this for such a long time. You see, writing this would have meant coming to terms with a lot, including the fact that you’re no longer here. Accepting that these words are the closest I’ll ever get to communicate with you for now. And that is hard because your presence greatly impacted the lives of those you touched, and I know you were too selfless to even realize.
I often wish I could have you back for one day. Just one day. To thank you. To share my appreciation and gratitude for all that you did and taught me. For the ideas and ways of being you instilled in me. To relive every single moment I took for granted, assuming you’d always be around. To tell you of all that has happened since you passed. My heart aches for just one more day.
I know that all you’d want for me and everybody else is to rejoice in the good times and remember you for the unique character you were. But you see, sometimes it’s just too heart-wrenching. I feel sad that you aren’t here for me to seek advice from or laugh heartily at my humor that isn’t all that funny. I feel sad that you aren’t here to relay stories from your past or converse effortlessly with me. Sometimes, I feel a little lost without you around, for the gaping hole that’s left can never be filled.
Other times, I just long for a great big hug. After a long day or simply because. Sometimes I feel happy. I feel happy that you were a part of my life. That I shared such fond memories with you that I’ll forever cherish. I cry from laughing so hard as I relay all the incredible times shared with you. Because although you were taken way too soon, I was the luckiest person to have had you alongside me for a period of my life.
It seems that in any given conversation, I can subconsciously make you a part of it, whether I speak like you’re still around and tell those who will listen of the times you can no longer tell or inform those listening of the random information you’re no longer able to pass on.
Although you may be gone, it seems you’ll never leave my side. As the years go by and I grow older, I miss you more than you’ll ever know. I find comfort in knowing that somewhere, you are still with me. I think of you each day. Whether it’s the way somebody’s haircut mimics yours or an interesting fact I long to share with you, you are always in the back of my mind.
I’m almost certain that you’re somewhere above watching me down here. Watching me live my life, make mistakes, and learn from them. I live each day trying my hardest to make you proud because I know you can see me. And I know that whatever I do, you will always be there watching me with such pride. If not, you’re probably puttering about and chatting away to somebody easily attracted to your pleasant and warm demeanor.
You may be physically gone, but in our hearts, you’ll forever stay. To my best friend in the sky, not a day goes by without a thought of you.