I Left The Country So I Wouldn’t Have To Break Up With You

Breaking up with someone is the hardest thing to do. If you don’t think so, I am just going to assume you are just a cold-hearted monster (or Ted Bundy).

To be able to be honest and fully express to your partner that it isn’t going to work out is probably the classiest thing you can do. I don’t care if they are more annoying than the Kardashians on your TV 24/7. At the end of the day, they are still human beings with emotions.

However, I may have too many emotions or just be a coward – because I lack the ability to break up with anyone. Looking back at my dating life, I’ve never been able to do it. Not for lack of trying. I’ve come up with so many plans on how to do so in a non-hurtful manner. Y

et when the moment approaches, I start shaking like a drug addict going though withdrawals. So instead, I run faster than Forrest Gump.

That’s right. I am a total coward. Instead of going through with my meticulously calculated break-up plan, I run home to book the first flight out and begin my fade away plan. Unlike other cowards who are simply able to ghost and not respond to messages, I leave home. It might seem crazy but in my twisted brain it makes sense.

By leaving the country for vacation – I get to say “oh, I wish I could join you in going out with you and your friends but I am actually out of the country. I’ll text you when I am back.” Furthermore, I’ll text them a few pictures to show that I am not making this up. I wouldn’t want them to think I was ghosting. Which I totally am, but this makes me feel less guilty.

It grants me the ability to say that I had a reason for not responding to their text. I mean, how can I be held responsible when I basically had no reception during the trip.

I know this makes me a hypocrite seeing as I always claim to want honesty from the people I am seeing. So many times, I’ve claimed, if only they would let me know if they weren’t interested – we both could move on. Reality is that the most anguishing part of dating is the not knowing if they are interested or not.

Once that is established, it’s easy to move on.

Nonetheless, I am unable to vocalize that sentiment. Even in textual form. So, I stick to the only way I know how to break up. It’s a method that while not cost efficient, works for the most part. It allows you to blame it on bad timing. A great alternative to hurting someone by telling them all the small things that you dislike about them.