Put Your Phone Away, Look Up, And See What’s In Front Of You

Dear your name here,

You didn’t ask any telling questions so I thought I’d let you know that I am nice. I’m confident, too, but not pompous. I’m intelligent, sarcastic, well dressed and often referred to as attractive; at least a two out of ten. I wear a tie more days than not, it wasn’t just last night. I can cook – when I make pasta, the gnocchi and sauce are made from scratch. I could live without a microwave unlike most of this college town. I read a lot of books. I write letters. I always have something to say. I’m determined. I’m successful. I’m charming. Though I often get questioned about my lack of taking advantage of that, read ‘take advantage of girls’ I still keep my morality in check. I keep the argument alive even though I’m the weird one for not putting on an act to sleep with someone I don’t care about that way.

Anyway, I liked that you and one of your friends came to ask my friend and me to join your group. I thought it was cute that it was obviously for you but led by your friend because you’re shy. I like your unique name and the way you smiled when I guessed the spelling correctly. Your style was different, you stuck out. We had a delightful conversation; you said that you’re strange but I like that; it’s probably a good thing. You seemed familiar and I liked that.

Our conversation was cut short so that I could fulfill my driving duties for the night. I asked for your number in case I came back out even though I couldn’t help but notice how annoying the bluish glow your phone made most of the time we talked and that you didn’t ask me about my music tastes after I listened to yours. You laughed at my clever joke about your job but you didn’t ask what I did. You were interested in having me join you, there was a smile on your face and you were laughing during our conversation, but the little things detracted from that. I might ask you out to see you a second time because you’re interesting but this time pay attention – look up and see what’s in front of you.

Regards,
Me

PS for the internet:
Think about the last time you interacted with someone. How many times did you pull out your cell phone? How many times did your response to a question not include the question in return? When was the last time you dressed nicely for no reason? Did you ever think about what the way you dress says about you or how much you care to be where you are? When was the last time you asked someone a serious question? When was the last time you picked a piece of trash of the sidewalk and threw it into the bin? When was the last time you cooked someone dinner? When was the last time you went for a long walk with someone without distractions? When was the last time you were particularly thoughtful? When was the last time you read a book and shared it with someone?

There’s an alarming lack of concern for the details of decency with our generation, the millennials if you must call us that. As an intelligent, curious, and thoughtful human being, I find myself constantly talking about my generation like I’m not a part of it; I definitely do not want to be a part of it.

Computers, cell phones caused or at least hastened the general apathy towards others, their feelings and communicating about any of it. Nothing is ever wrong, you’re fine. An alarming majority of this generation hasn’t loved anyone enough to try to explain it with a simile or a metaphor. Though, I guess I shouldn’t be too quick to judge – a picture is worth a thousand words – maybe that “dick pic” says more than I could express in a letter. We’ve become a generation better known as the four fingered generation having roughly the same conversation with different sub-three-syllable words than our openness and understanding.

The reasons people don’t find what they are looking for is because very few think about it – it’s forced upon you. A lot of guys think one dimensionally, or three if you’re going by measurements. If she looks good, it doesn’t matter that the last book she read was required in middle school and she didn’t read the book, she read the spark notes. It’s not just one way – a lot of girls have height requirements, yes, like an amusement park ride. Again, it doesn’t matter so much if he’s nice; in fact, that could be a detractor for some. It just seems backwards.

Be different – leave your phone on the table. Make eye contact. Say something nice that you’d usually be afraid to say. Ask a risky question. You’re not going to live up to someone’s standards and others won’t live up to your standards but isn’t that the point? Go out and find what your standards are and start looking for someone that checks all the boxes in pen. TC mark

Find more love stories in Gully Zucca’s new Thought Catalog Book here.

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