When You Find And Lose Your Second Soulmate

 Dmitry Ratushny
Dmitry Ratushny

I find myself thinking about my second soulmate from time to time.

A soulmate, as my shrink had convinced me, is a precious gift that one finds once in a life time. A second soulmate however, is an even rare blessing that one should be very lucky to find. I’m a firm believer that a soulmate doesn’t always have to be a romantic partner. It could be a friend, parents; anyone who connects with your soul like no one else could, someone who vibrates in the same frequency as you do, down to the molecular level.

“There’s no love like the first.” — Nicholas Sparks

Moving on from my first love was one of the most difficult struggles I had ever gone through. He wasn’t my first significant other, but he was my first love, he was my soulmate. Two years after we parted, he still plagued my mind in every waking moment, sometimes in my dreams too. It was the second year that my path unexpectedly crossed with my second soulmate.

I wasn’t interested in him at the beginning, but I approached him because his dog was the same breed as mine, a breed that rather few adopted. After exchanging numbers, our friendly chats developed into intimate conversations.

His presence in my life accelerated the healing process. His presence itself mended my wounds. At last, I could stop thinking about my first soulmate. I finally had something to look forward to. I found it fascinating how we shared a penchant for the gruesome.

He embraced my darkness, yet guided me into the light. Most importantly, he found my troubled soul beautiful. He reassured me that his purpose, was to make me happy. 

For once, I was glad that things didn’t work out with the first soulmate. Second understood and connected with me better than the first in some ways. He evoked feelings in me that I had never felt before. And I thought, perhaps this is what intimacy feels like.

Finally, I was happy. I deserved it. He was my dreamboat whom I could trust my darkest secret with. He was emotionally stable and it was a blessing for me. I have a penchant for jealousy and slight possessiveness, but those negative traits were absent when I was with him. It was a strange feeling, to be completely at peace.

Like all great things, it must come to an end. I lost him, we lost each other. Like the melting snow in spring, we faded into the distance. The farewell was never formally spoken, but in our hearts, we know it was goodbye. 

I never fell in love with him. In fact, I don’t think we were ever in love with each other. The fondness and deep affection however, were undeniably mutual. He has reached parts of me no one has ever gone before. When we parted, I knew that I would never find someone like him. He was strange and lovely.

It was undoubtedly a pity to lose a good friend. Despite of the anti-climax, I’m glad it happened and had no regrets when it ended.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.  TC mark

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