“He didn’t even ask for my number.”
Frustrated. Confused. Insecure. Craving an egg sammy. Occasional Saturday morning thoughts that might not have happened if it weren’t for the night events prior. Let’s flashback for a second and unravel familiar timelines that us 20 something’s may have in common…
It’s a Friday at 6:00 p.m. and you’re caught between:
A) Changing out of your work clothes, throwing on some sweats, and putting on HGTV to watch a re-run of “Fixer Upper” accompanied by a pint of Haagen Dazs
B) Responding to the group chat with your besties confirming the place of pregame with frantic texts back and forth deciding whether to wear wedges or your new Adidas to the bar.
Chances are if you’re 22, single, and have three other friends in the same boat, option B is the clear winner.
“How am I still single?”
Recently I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection. I’m realizing more and more that the way you present yourself is who you are going to attract.
At my age, our culture strongly consists of late nights and drunken texts that lead to embarrassment or sometimes regret. These experiences are all part of growing up but I can’t help but find myself wondering why all of these Friday night guys haven’t ever become Saturday or Sunday guys too.
Why is it that I have become borderline embarrassed of not having a boyfriend?
The song “Single Ladies” comes on at any function and I’m all of a sudden wishing my dress had pockets. “Put your hands up!” says Beyonce…sorry Queen B but my hands are most definitely down.
“What am I doing wrong?”
It’s not that anyone is in the wrong. You’re not wrong, he’s not wrong. It’s an understanding of WHERE you are, WHAT you’re doing, and WHO you look like to others.
Getting drunk at a bar with your friends is fun and often times the fix that you need, but don’t be confused the next day when the guy who you were draped on and taking shots with all night doesn’t follow through with dinner plans or bothers to shoot you a text the following day.
On the other end of it…why would you want him to? I hope that my future boyfriend’s first impression of me isn’t when I have a drink in hand while dancing to “Disco Inferno” by 50 Cent. And that can be a frequent occurrence when my friend Jose Cuervo shows up—but all jokes aside, that’s not who I am at my core or what I bring to the table.
If I aspire to date someone who is driven, intentional, and honest…how am I going to find him when my drunk ass is frolicking all over the damn bar?
Standards are not only meant for others, but you should hold standards for yourself. Keep them high, and the RIGHT guy will rise to meet them.
I don’t want this article to come off lame, or encourage others to be a Debbie Downer, but it’s more of a wake-up call for any single 22 year old girl who likes to have fun but sees a bigger picture for herself and what she truly wants out of life.
Go out with your friends. Order a Big Mac at 3 a.m. and enjoy every bite. Embrace the blurry moments of your night. But recognize that more often times than not, you won’t wake up the next day thinking that the guy you spoke to really got to know you, or that you got to know him. And if you ended up catching his last name or a “Good morning” text…well damn, tally it a win and major props to you sista.