Sometimes, we find ourselves wandering back to memories that have no purpose in our lives anymore, little moments that we can’t seem to shake. We often fight the urge to relive these empty memories, to resist our mind’s seemingly insatiable need to reminisce. Because these moments – these slivers of our pasts – are often the things we have lost, things that we are still moving on from, things that we miss.
We shiver at these flashbacks. We grow frustrated and impatient with our own inability to let them go. We wish a heavy smog could flood our minds, erase our thoughts and free us from replaying these moments over and over again.
But, we must remember that through love, we learn about the things we as humans need to feel fulfilled. Through heartbreak, we learn how to cope with losing the things that once made us feel whole. And inevitably, we also miss those things, and you need to know, that’s okay. Like,
1. The feeling of safety from another’s arms around you.
The thought of facing the world alone is a scary thing. And it most likely felt less intimidating when you had someone to run home to when things got hard. Those arms were more than just a cozy nest you could lay your head in; they were a shield that made you feel secure, like nothing could break you down. We all need a little protection sometimes, and you are not alone for missing that extra layer of warmth around you.
2. Feeling like yourself again.
Our idea of individuality can easily be jaded by others, and when we lose something so significant, we often forget the very purpose of our own being. You are not alone in feeling this way. And your hunger to put the pieces of your life back together, to rebuild something that someone else broke, shows just how badly you want to feel like yourself again. And you will. Because you are building a foundation that is stronger and more resilient, whose core will not shake. You will feel power in facing difficult things alone and be amazed at your own ability to carry yourself with grace. And ultimately, you will learn new ways to love yourself – in ways no one else can.
3. Planning your future with someone.
We get excited about our future goals becoming attainable. And suddenly, those plans we’ve made – the things that seemed as if they would fall into place – are no longer in reach. It’s a challenge to accept this and to re-alter your own expectations of your future. And it’s normal that you still miss having someone to make these plans with. But the beautiful secret in this is that you are capable to build your own life, just the way you want it. Don’t let the loss of someone standing next to you make your future feel ominous. Spend this time alone to finally see life through your eyes again. The other things will fall into place. And ultimately, you need to know that if someone chooses to not be a part of your present, they are not someone that deserves to be a part of your very bright future.
4. Feeling deeply connected to another person.
Being with someone who understood you on a deeper level – who knew everything from your bad mood triggers to your secret ticklish spots – is a hard thing to let go of. This person got you – and you got them – and you felt overwhelmed by the connection you two shared.
We all, to an extent, want a similar love to resurface our lives. And it’s okay to miss having a person that felt like yours; a person you connected with in ways you didn’t think you ever could. Remind yourself of the goodness that can come out of waiting for something that feels right. For someone that brings your best qualities forward and is even more of your person than the last.
5. Most of all, you may miss the way you were loved.
The pureness in your smile. The ease of experiencing true bliss. The way you walked with such lightness in your step. This person made you glow. It’s okay to miss a love like this – a love you will never forget.
But, you must remember that so much of the love you receive has to do with the kind of person you are. Do not sit wondering if someone will ever love you that way again, for you are the reason someone was able to let their guard down in the first place. You are the reason you experienced warmth in another human’s soul. You taught this person how to love you – and don’t you think for a moment that you will not re-experience these feelings of fullness. Do not overlook your strength to be vulnerable, open and soft in a world that can so easily turn us cold. We attract the love we put out in the universe, and your own self-love, your own gentle heart, will one day find another soul that makes you no longer miss these things at all – for they will be even better than you experienced before.