While we all wish heartbreak had a straightforward recovery process, we also know, unfortunately, that isn’t the case. In a time when your heart is already weak, you are forced to endure some of the most painful emotions we as humans are capable of experiencing.
Equally as hard, you are thrown into a new life to navigate.
Without time to process, your normal is no longer your present. The future you were once excited about is now an overcast of fog with unclear direction. And, maybe the hardest of these changes to accept, the person who promised to love you through anything is now a distant stranger.
You feel the heaviness of these new realities every day, and sometimes it’s unfathomable how to cope with them.
Those are the days that are harder than others—the days where you fight your own truth and bully the only person left in the equation: yourself.
Unfortunately, these days occur all too frequently when mending a broken heart. You carry your sorrow, anger, and guilt, and they are all heavy. And when you lose track of actively letting go, you will undoubtedly be pulled down. That’s when you find yourself frantically resisting. You try to kick and shake off the extra weight; you reach for the light above you to avoid being pulled to the darkness. Sometimes, even if for just a moment, you forget to breathe.
But, know this: you will not drown.
These moments do not mean you are moving backward instead of moving on. They do not make you weak; they do not make you fragile. These moments show just how deeply you feel, and that is admirable. Feeling, even when it’s the depths of inconceivable pain, is never something to be ashamed of. Because while we normally think of pain as something that harbors negativity, experiencing pain is truly a sign of growth and strength. And the alternative of not feeling these brief moments of darkness would be a destiny of white noise: pure numbness.
In the midst of the darkness, you will start to see the good. You will tell yourself this was the right decision. You’ll mutter under your breath, “I will be okay,” (because you will be), and you’ll finally feel yourself take control of the fierce current you are swimming against.
Some days will feel as if this is how you’ve always lived your life. Others will feel like you’re caught in the deepest trenches of the world.
Find gratitude in every stage of your moving on process because every step along the way is helping you rebuild the pieces you thought were shattered.
You will start to have more and more moments where you gain a little piece of yourself back, where you remember something you like to do or you feel genuinely happy. While you may have these moments less frequently right now, when you have them, you really feel them. And that means that while some days are harder than others, not all days are hard anymore, and that is something to be proud of.