You are allowed to kiss someone that you have been flirting with, even if you’re not really sure whether or not you want to date them yet.

And you are allowed to date someone you know you’re never going to have a future with, because you want to have some fun for the time being.

You are allowed to casually kiss someone, sleep with someone, and see someone.

You are allowed to explore your options. You are allowed to date around.

You don’t have to stay single and wait for someone special to come along. You don’t have to move at a snail’s pace every time you develop feelings for someone, because you’re worried that they might not be the one.

You are allowed to date the wrong person for a few months and then dump them. You are allowed to take a chance on someone and then walk away when the risk stops being worth it. 

As long as the other person knows where you stand, as long as you’re not leading them on and you make it clear where your head is at, then it’s fine for you to look around. It’s fine for you to see what it’s like to date a party animal today and a workaholic tomorrow.

You should never be embarrassed to tell your friends that it didn’t work out with another ex.

You should never feel weird changing your relationship status back and forth between single and seeing someone.

You should never feel awkward about how big your number is or how many hours you’ve spent on Tinder.

You are allowed to date new people — and you are allowed to break up with those people. Giving up on a relationship that wasn’t working doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you strong.

It takes strength to break up with someone instead of forcing things to work so you can look good to other people, so that you can post couple pictures on Instagram don’t have to tell your parents you’re alone again.

It takes strength to give yourself time to figure out what you really want instead of staying in the first relationship that isn’t completely horrible.

It takes strength to refuse to settle for anything less than what will truly make you happy.

That’s why you should never feel ashamed for having a long list of exes. You are allowed to jump from person to person.

You are allowed to do what makes you happy — and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone (including yourself) then there’s nothing wrong with dating around. There’s nothing wrong with getting dinner with someone tonight and then deciding that you no longer want them in your life tomorrow.

You are allowed to actively look for the right person instead of sitting around and waiting for them to show up on your doorstep.

You are allowed to taste different lips and experience different lifestyles.

You are allowed to stay single. And you are allowed to date around.

You are allowed to make your own choice. You are allowed to decide what is best for you.

Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.