You have been drowning yourself in alcohol and tears for quite a while now but it seems that nothing would ever numb you from pain. It has been months since the love of your life left but every waking day still feels like your heart is getting ripped over and over again.
A lot of people have been calling you stupid for getting hanged up over a person who clearly doesn’t want you anymore. Even he can’t understand why it’s taking you too long to let him go when it’s so easy for him to forget you and everything that you were in his life.
Everyone is expecting you to move on as if it’s so easy to forget the years that you’ve spent with him. They make it sound so easy that you started to hate yourself for taking too long. You have been battling yourself every day because all you ever wanted to do was to forget him but you cannot. You feel weak and stupid and you just want to fast forward to the day that you’ll no longer care about him.
I know the recurring pain is awful and you just want it to stop. But darling, you don’t have to pressure yourself. You don’t have to punish yourself for taking this long to move on. Fuck what other people have to say. Just take your time. Take things slow. There’s no deadline that you need to beat. There are no rules that you need to follow.
Don’t let other people downplay your pain. Who cares if you already look stupid? Who cares if he moved on first? You’ll get there.
Don’t be in such a hurry because you’ll just stumble and get hurt again. Let go at your own pace. Ugly cry all you want. Send drunken text messages if that’s what you need. Travel more if you have to. Just let it be. Even if you try so hard you can’t force yourself to un-love a person. It just happens. One day you’ll just get tired of wanting him and you’ll start wanting yourself more. You’ll realize that you deserve more than the person who left you. You’ll just wake up and know that you’ve already let him go and it’s time to be happy again.
Time will heal your battle scarred heart and you’ll start to believe again. Love can be found even in the most hopeless place and in this darkness I hope you’ll find love for yourself. Maybe not now, but, eventually.