1. “Distance is hard.”
No freakin’ duh. The sky is also blue, in case you were wondering.
2. “I was in a distance relationship once.”
While some people say this because they were actually in a long-term long-distance relationship, way too many folks think the one week-long business trip their boyfriend/girlfriend went on gives them insight into distance relationships.
3. “Don’t you wish you could date/party/mess around?”
Le Sigh. Some of us actually value having an interesting, sympathetic, committed partner, rather than needing to sample every dish that comes along.
4. “How does sex work over a distance?”
Seriously? Go to http://www.skype.com, bro. I’m not going to spell it out for you.
5. “It won’t work out.”
I’m sorry, when did you become a prescient version of Dr. Phil? Just because you don’t have the strength of will to stay true to someone over time and space doesn’t mean other people share your weakness.