DISCLAIMER: this is not a comparison between boys and girls as friends, for I don’t have a personal preference as I enjoy the company of both (in very diverse ways).
Let’s bust the myth: a boy and a girl undoubtedly can be friends, and I am the living proof of it. If you don’t believe this, you’re either close-minded or you want to fuck every human being you meet. The way I see it, people are just people, and I don’t fantasize over getting laid with every guy I meet (chances are I’m very pretentious and picky but that’s another story).
The truth is, I simply enjoy boys’ company a lot and I hardly fall in love so I don’t really see any preposterous risk in being friends with some dudes. By this, I mean that I understand this is not a scientific rule applicable to everybody, but it seems to work quite well for me and my squad.
In case you’re curious enough to know the reasons why I fancy male company this much, I’d like to take you through my 10 perks of having male friends:
1. The quality of (no filter) conversations
To quote the poem Tupac wrote to his longtime best friend Jada Pinkett (aka Will Smith’s wife): “You bring me to climax without sex.”
But here’s the thing I like the most: if they don’t want to get into your pants, they will open their minds to you and give you all the insights into the male perspective. It’s not always pretty, and at times you wish you didn’t know as much as you do, but it’s groundbreaking and you will be so grateful. You can also swear as much as you want and they won’t blink an eye, which is very appreciated.
2. They always manage to get a smile out of you
They make you laugh till you cry and cry till you laugh in such a unique way. Especially in the most inappropriate moments. They always have the right thing to say on the tip of their tongue and they show you how to see things in a lighter and funnier way. They insult you and call you names all the time, but that’s their way to tell you they love you. I low-key like it. Also, their compliments are so rare that when you get them, you know they’re for real.
3. They’re brutally honest
This is such a cliché for a reason. Since they don’t want to get into your sheets, they’ll never pretend to be something they’re not. They won’t need to sugar coat how that dress looks awful on you or blame you for wasting your time over a douchebag. Boys are more spontaneous and easy to be around, and they tend to be more objective and straightforward because they don’t fear your reaction. They also won’t be afraid of telling you if you’re making a mistake, instead of spilling the tea with somebody else.
4. They’re protective
They will know if that guy is fooling you and they’ll be the first ones to tell you. But they also know you, and they’ll patiently wait until you figure it out by yourself. It might cost you a year or two to realize they were 100% right about him, and they’ll slam it in your face for ages, but at least you got the message. They are ready to punch him too, if it makes you feel better.
5. You become one of the guys
If I had to count all the times I had to remember my best friend that I am, in fact, a girl, we’d be here until the end of time. It doesn’t really look like a perk, but it’s hilarious and if you think about it, there’s something beautiful about the way boys care about each other. It’s more pure and genuine. Also, consider the infinite number of suitors you might get introduced to.
6. They make you appreciate new things
In my case, it was mostly rap music, weird TV series, and drinking games, but everyone’s different and it’s always amusing to flip over things you didn’t expect liking that much. Boys can be inspiring, in their own way. And they are such good company during football season, my girl gang can’t stand watching “men chasing a ball.”
7. They are tremendous fake boyfriends
It happens to the best of us: You’ve been approached by a guy you don’t like and you desperately need a way out. That’s when they step in the game. You have incredible chemistry and you’ve known each other for a long time, hence they should be convincing enough to save you from any awkward situation (unless they want to embarrass you, by trying to set you up with the above mentioned guy; yes, it happened). They also make the perfect +1 at any ceremony you have to attend.
8. They are so chill
I have always been a control freak so it really helps to have my boys living in the moment and constantly reminding me of what a crazy perfectionist I used to be. You never really lose the habit but I’ve become more relaxed and breezy over time and I owe it to them. They never make plans or reservations, and there’s always some unexpected element brought into the equation, but after I lost my mind a few times, I’ve made peace with it and I go with the flow now. It can be enjoyable, really!
9. Bear hugs
There’s not much to say, this one sounds so stupid, I just love it.
10. They will make you feel special
I, by no means, want to imply that you will be the only girl in their lives, for that is unlikely, otherwise you wouldn’t be just friends. But this kind of friendship is so rare, and they’ll do their best to make sure you know how essential you are to them. For the record, they aren’t the best at communication, as they still are men: a friend once told me he was trying to sort the women he cares about, and he came up with me and his dog as the chosen ones. I’m still trying to process it.
Also, they always have your back, no matter what kind of trouble you get into. None of my homies ever did wrong to me. They simply don’t want any drama, and they respect each other more than us women.
In my opinion, the idea that men and women can’t be friends is very restrictive. I’ve been told endless times that being friends with boys is meaningless and fake and I have been called names for getting too close too. But they are a lot more than someone to go to for sex, or to get a light bulb changed, don’t you think? I find it hard to believe that in the era of feminism, society won’t have boys and girls being friends yet.
I simply don’t take gender into account when it comes to meeting people, and I must say it’s one of the things I’m most proud of. Because the way I see it, my guy friends are my brothers from other mothers, they are the siblings I wish I had growing up, and my life would be so much worse without them. They’re family. And yes, there will always be prejudices and you’ll have people questioning your relationship with them, defying it pointless and insincere, but I won’t buy it. After all, if it works for me, why should anyone else have a word on it?