Thought Catalog

A Letter To The Woman Who Thinks She’s Too Fat To Be Loved

  • 0
A woman who wants to be loved
Unsplash / Zach Guinta

Your worth is not tied to a number on the scale.

You’ve grown to believe that your worth correlates with whatever number is on the scale. The lower the number, the more worthy you believe you are. When the numbers start to swing the other direction, your self-worth plummets. This mindset is keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-hatred. You’ve got to break free from drawing worth from numbers.

It’s likely that even if you lost weight, you’d still feel this way.

The thing about thinking that your worth lies in your body fat percentage is that it’s not a reliable measurement. Even when the numbers are where you think they should be, you’ll still have a pit in your stomach telling you that you don’t measure up. Your weight loss or gain isn’t the determining factor for how much love you deserve.

You are loveable and worthy — no matter what.

Your worth and lovability are tied to so much more than your body shape and size. Who you are inside is what makes you lovable. There is a source deep inside of you that can never be shaken. That source is where your love lies, not in toned abs or a certain pants size.

Anyone who tells you you’re less than is not worth your time.

If in your dating life you find someone who belittles you or makes you feel less than, know that the problem in this situation is them and not you. They’re not worth your precious time.

Any partner telling you that you’re not enough is just projecting their insecurities onto you.

A partner who tells you that there’s something wrong with you is projecting their insecurities onto you. Know that what they say speaks volumes about them, not about you. Often, people who are uncomfortable in their own skin go out of their way to belittle others and bring them down.

The diet industry wants you to hate your body so that it can profit.

There’s a $60 billion diet industry that banks on you despising your body. The more you hate yourself, the more products and services you’ll buy. What if you stopped letting them win and decided to radically love your body? What if you boycotted the garbage diet products and instead turned your attention to how your body is at the moment? You deserve the peace of mind.

The majority of women think that their bodies are not enough.

Unfortunately, you’re amongst many if you think that the fat on your body places you in a category that makes you unlovable. Too many women share this disbelief. It feels like a heavy burden on your chest and it carries the weight of too many women who were told they weren’t enough.

There’s nothing wrong with having fat on your body.

You’ve been trained to believe that fat is bad. You look down at the soft curve of your belly and your stomach churns with distaste. You think these curves place you in a category where you’re undeserving of the love of another. In reality, at the end of the day, fat is not good or bad. It just is.

The only way to finding true peace is throwing up the white surrender flag.

You could let societal messages take you down to the depths of lonely despair or you could rise up and slap a “good enough” sticker on your chest. The only way to true peace is surrendering, throwing up the white flag, and quitting the runaround. Your body is perfect as it is.

Radical body acceptance is the way to happiness.

Complete body acceptance is the way to find happiness and contentedness with your body and your life. Otherwise, you’re always trying to change something about yourself, particularly to keep losing fat until there’s nothing of you left. If you have the mindset that something about you always needs to change, you will never be happy.

Stop trying to shrink yourself.

You may think that becoming smaller and smaller will make you more lovable, but you’re already lovable just as you are. Stop trying to shrink yourself to fit into society’s idea of what you should look like. Your body doesn’t need to morph. Stay the size that you are and shift your acceptance around your reality rather than trying so hard to warp reality so you can have acceptance.

The right partner will love you just as you are.

You keep having the tapes running through your mind that tell you you’re not good enough. These tapes are just trying to bring you down when in all reality the right person will love you just as you are. They won’t try to change you or tell you that you aren’t enough. They’ll embrace you with open arms, a loving heart, and a non-judgmental mind. After all, you deserve it. TC mark

Powered by Revcontent

Monogamy never even seemed like a remote possibility…

(⚠️) Attention all Netflix lovers 🛋️ ❤️ 📺 🔥

Check out the latest Netflix Original…

Watch Nola Darling struggle to stay true to herself and her dreams while juggling three lovers in this Spike Lee series based on his breakout film.

Sponsored by Netflix. 

Watch Our Favorite New Show

More From Thought Catalog