You Are Forgiven For The Past

You are forgiven for all of the things you fight with yourself about. You are forgiven for the things you promise not to tell anyone else because you are ashamed but come desperately close to revealing only when you have the right amount of alcohol in your system and can hardly remember your own name. On nights when the sky is falling in sheets of white and the snow piles are tall enough to disappear into, you are forgiven for taking the easy way out.

You are forgiven for not answering your phone and for dousing selfish kerosene on your matchstick lies, destroying everything that once was your home. You are forgiven for the people you have hurt, both intentionally and unintentionally, when you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel. You are forgiven for all of the wounds you didn’t know how to heal and all of the unintentional blood stains that resulted on the ones who got too close or tried to love you the hardest. You are forgiven for every cancer cell that grew in your artificial light, for it was just another desperate, dishonest attempt to extinguish your own darkness.

You are forgiven for everything you have ever done or couldn’t do. You are forgiven for every shameful accomplishment or every failed attempt to come through for the ones you swore you loved. You are forgiven for every broken promise and half-baked alibi. You are forgiven for your cowardice in every situation that you couldn’t even summon enough respect for to say goodbye.

Someone will love you and accept you completely. You just have to love yourself enough to talk about the things that scare you the most so you can forgive yourself and stop running away. Stop counting yourself among the ghosts all because you were afraid. You are forgiven, and please know that despite the damage you may have inflicted along the way, you are still worthy of healing. Everything will be okay.