1. Spring clean.
We are finally seeing warmer days, which means we can open the windows and take care of all the clutter we have been avoiding over the past several months. Go through all the excessive gifts that you or your children received during the holidays and donate the stuff you are tired of looking at. With schools closing, have your kids help. Thoroughly disinfect your home along the way. Post pictures on social media and brag about how you managed to snatch the last can of Lysol Wipes from the shelf of your local CVS.
2. Watch Supernatural.
Seriously. There are over 300 episodes. By the time you finish the show, this whole Coronavirus panic will have blown over. The Winchesters will make everything better. I promise.
3. Go on a diet.
I would suggest a (temporary) liquid diet, considering there is no fucking toilet paper anywhere. Try to minimize the consumption of solid foods. The less solids you eat, the less toilet paper you will need.
4. Text your ex.
Ask them if they have contracted the coronavirus yet. When they tell you no, tell them you will try again tomorrow.
5. Wash your hands.
While doing so, see if you can remember all of the words to The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air theme song. Make Will Smith and your mama proud.
6. Build a toilet paper fort.
If you are one of the assholes who bought it all, make a fort in the living room and hang out in it with your kids until this whole thing blows over.
7. Watch The Walking Dead.
You know, for pointers. Just in case. During moments of impending panic over the current situation, ask yourself: What would Daryl do?
8. Read Thought Catalog.
Find comfort in facetious articles such as this one and remember that you are not alone.
9. Do some home improvements.
Considering you will probably spend more time inside to avoid the crazy toilet paper hoarders and hand sanitizer sniffers, take this time to improve your living environment. Paint the walls a pretty color, considering you will probably find yourself staring at them a lot more over the next several weeks.
10. Get in touch with loved ones.
Reach out and make sure the people you care about are hanging in there and taking care of themselves. Also, ask them if they have any extra toilet paper you can borrow.
11. Take care of your mental health.
Do not isolate yourself or obsessively seek out articles and podcasts about this virus. Stay in the loop, but don’t drown in the overwhelming panic that is currently being encouraged by the media.
12. Be kind to each other.
We are all going to be on edge with the discomfort of the uncertainty that the immediate future holds, but if we stick together and take care of each other, we will be alright. Share your toilet paper.