1. He gives you his number
He doesn’t ask you for yours, he gives you his, leaving the ball in your court. He gives you all the power, instead of making you wait for him to use his, because he’s chickenshit.
2. He throws things at you
You know, like in elementary school? Not heavy, dangerous objects. Just simple things, like balled-up paper or rubber bands. Paper clips. You know, small stuff, like what’s left of his dignity. Things that will not do damage.
3. He gives you gifts
By gifts, I mean things that you didn’t ask for and never saw coming. Whether he catches you off guard and buys you your favorite soda or a giant, obnoxious stuffed animal, the fact that he opens his wallet with you in mind is a definite sign that he likes you. Odds are, he’s too scared to say it, so he hopes that maybe by showing you that he remembered your favorite kind of drink or that you love giant unicorn stuffed animals, it will indicate that he feels some kind of something for you.
4. He remembers details
If he refers to your cat by name after you let it slip once in conversation over a week ago; that isn’t exactly normal. Hell, you’d be lucky if the average person even remembered that you said you own a cat. If he brings up the exact predetermined date that you marked on your calendar to break up with your current boyfriend, he’s probably counting down the days with you. He’s just too chickenshit to admit that he’s hoping maybe the next date you circle in your calendar will belong to him as the beginning of something, rather than the end.
5. He overshares
If you find him opening up to you and sharing super personal details about certain life traumas that he has experienced or certain medical issues that he has, there is a pretty big chance that he likes you and wants to bond with you. By sharing these details with you, he is probably hoping that you will share some stories of your own in return. Whether you decide to let your guard down and let him in or run to the nearest courthouse and demand a restraining order is entirely up to you.
6. He runs to you first
Whenever anything mentionable happens to him, good or bad, you are the first person he comes to with details. Even though you are not his person, this is his way of letting you know that he wishes you were.
7. He checks to see if you laughed
Whenever something ridiculous happens, or he cracks the 37th terrible joke of the day, he always ignores the crowd of laughing admirers and scans the room for you and your reaction, because he is too chickenshit to admit that yours is the only one that actually matters.
8. He tells you he hates you
If the words “I hate you” fall from his lips on a regular basis, and he usually says it with a smile or a tone of sarcasm, he probably feels the exact opposite, but is too scared to say it.
9. He lets you touch/change/play with his personal belongings
No, I’m not talking about his penis. When you have added so many small, stupid things to his keychain that his keychain becomes our keychain, there’s a pretty good chance that he likes you. He carries those little pieces of you around every day and probably thinks of you and smiles whenever he sees them. He wants them there because he’s too scared to admit that he would rather have you, so he holds on to what he can get.
10. He subtly touches you a lot
Whether it be awkward high fives, pulling something out of your hair, or patting you sarcastically on the back, he’s just looking for an excuse to touch you. Whether you touch him back or call the police is totally up to you.
11. He talks to you about all of his stalkers or the people who hit on him throughout the day
Essentially, what he is saying is, “Oh my god all these people adore me, you totally should, too. I am wanted by many, but I actually want you, so hurry up and make a move because I’m too chickenshit to do it myself.”
12. Other people say so
If the people within your group start to make comments and jokes about the two of you being a couple, odds are, they see the truth. If you want to make their assumptions a reality, you are going to have to be the one who takes the initiative and moves things along between the two of you, because he probably never will. When it comes to what you want in life, no man is worth waiting for. Either move things along or move on without him.