There are some people who you just have to love from the distance of an arm’s length for the sake of your own mental health. It’s hard to not be a fair-weather friend to someone who is consistently responsible for creating their own storms. It’s exhausting always being the one holding an umbrella for someone who absolutely insists on drowning in their own rain-puddle-creations. You get tired of trying to be their sun when they have their heart set on being a rain cloud in the presence of anyone who will pay them any attention at all.
Being a fair-weather friend does not make you a bad person. Part of growing is developing self-awareness and self-respect, and acknowledging how you affect those around you, as well as determining what you will and will not tolerate from others. Sometimes you just need to step away and take care of yourself in order to be of any value to the ones you love, in the ways that you feel you are capable.
Some people need to grow up, and the best way that you can help them do that is with tough love through distance. Hopefully, they will eventually realize that there is a direct correlation between their negative behavior and life choices as well as the absence of their friends. It can be difficult to leave the people who you love to either sink or swim in their own self-made floods, but just because you love them, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to drown with them. Having a big heart doesn’t always keep you afloat in these kinds of situations. Often times, a larger heart can cause you to sink. So, protect your large heart at all costs, and please know that you are not a bad person for taking care of yourself in these situations, and leaving them to their own devices.
When your loved ones are ready for warmer weather, they’ll know where to find you.