6 Ways To Be A Valentine’s Day Don Juan

Flickr / terren in Virginia
Flickr / terren in Virginia

Valentine’s Day is coming up. ’Tis the season for heart-shaped chocolates, pink teddies that say “I wuv you” on the tummy, and overbearingly crowded restaurants.

Pfft! Amateurs.

This is for those that are above the status quo and want to get creative to SHOW their significant other how special they are to them.

They deserve it. And so do you.

I’ve packed some tips on how to knock your lover’s socks off while keeping your pants on.

Hint: A bouquet of bacon roses. Boom.

These showcases of affection can be used year ’round, but let’s practice and get the creative juices flowing for this Valentine’s.

1. Keep things warm ’n’ cozy.

There is nothing like putting on a warm and fresh pair of jeans out of the drier. It puts a little pep in your step, brings about a smile, and sets your “mood meter” north, sky high.

Want to be the cause of all this happiness? While your other is in the shower, pop their bathroom towel in the drier for 5-10 minutes. Hand it to them when they come out. Welcome the kiss from this gracious gesture.

Note: Timing is everything. If they take 5-minute or 30-minute showers, coordinate appropriately.

(Optional: You can also pop in jeans, socks, their skullcap, favorite sweater, their Snuggie, etc.)

2. Make your lover a mix tape.

Listen to the lyrics. Nothing says, “I don’t know you” like a Slayer track.
Go digital or go old school. If your lover is into vinyl, has a vinyl collection, and has a record player they put into use whenever it rains—hint! Hint! If they’re New Age, check out Spotify, 8tracks, SoundCloud, or create the playlist on their iTunes and upload it onto their iPod or phone.

Your playlist does NOT have to all be ballads. Pick up the pace and order your songs appropriately to lift their mood up and then slowly bring them to a calm.

Song options:
Like a Virgin (Cover) by Amos Lee, Latch by Sam Smith, Rather Be (Cover) by The 1975, I Want You by Erykah Badu, Magic (Cover) by Jasmine Thompson, First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Cover) by BJ Griffin, Two Way Street by Kimbra.

3. Fix them a drink called the “Beautiful.”

Step 1) Get a short glass and fill it ¼ to ½ full of steaming hot water.
Step 2) Pour a shot (no more than two) of Grand Marnier into a snifter glass.
Step 3) Carefully sit the snifter on top of the short glass. Key word here is carefully. And once it’s tipped over, you’ll see why you don’t need more than two shots in the glass.
Step 4) Let sit for at least five minutes. You will see the glass start to sweat and a citrus aroma will start to permeate the air.
Step 5) Carefully lift snifter from its seat, inhale deeply, and enjoy this warm libation!

4. Give them a bouquet of love letters.

The power of affirmation. “I like you.” “I love you.” “I’m proud of you.” But you can go MUCH deeper than that. See this article I wrote and step-by-step instructions on how to make a bouquet of love letters for your lover.

5. Slip into something sexy…

…and get nerdy with it.

Nerf guns, laser tagging, cosplaying, pizza, and mac ’n’ cheese are 110% allowed. You will transform into a Sharknado of Sexy.

6. When all else fails…

Bacon roses make everything better. She wants romance and a snack. Problem solved. #multitasking TC mark

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