Just For Now, Let Me Love You

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Pablo Heimplatz / Unsplash

I find myself on the couch. With you. Indulging in the cheesiest movie for the nth time. Because I have this thinking that infinity is as conventional as a Saturday night movie marathon, a gallon of ice cream and your lap.

It’s times like this when I catch on the fact that, perhaps, I may just be a little bit over the moon for you. And I love that it makes my head swimmy and my heart weary from beating in thousands per second. Something tells me that you reciprocate the same feelings— that it is also as strong as a tidal wave, sweeping everything in its direction and as sudden as a wildfire burning down bridges.

It took me plenty of moments before it ever really sunk in. I had to hammer it down to my core because it never really hit me before— that I love you and I don’t want anybody else.

I love you and your constant mumbling. I love you and your pointless arguments. I love you and your puns. I love you and your obsession with chocolate. I love you and your cringe-worthy pick-up lines. I love you and all your jarred edges. I love you and your heart at your sleeves. I love you— everything— including all your scattered little pieces.

A tiny part of me prays that you’ll stay a little bit longer. Because I don’t want to get a grip on reality yet. I do not want to get ahold of the grand scheme of things yet. I still want to be lost in your eyes. The ones that seem like they’re holding all the stars captive behind those eyelids. The kind that curves into half moons when you chuckle. And when your gaze drops unto mine, a woozy feeling settles in my stomach and my heart stutters. I am lost once again— captivated by those dreamy eyes.

It’s making me hold onto the brink of my sanity for it’s all too good to be true. Even after all this time, I still find myself incredibly taken by you.

Our love is still young. We still have a lot more room to grow in. And perhaps, it may be too much to ask, but allow me to love you— stir your heart in all different directions like you do to me.

For all I know, no one else can hold you as close to their hearts as much as I do now.

So for the meantime, let me love you in all the ways I know how. In between all our imperfections. At the ends of all our infinities. TC mark

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