As a college girl, I have numerous times sat on the floor in my friends den with her as she cries, holds a big bottle of wine and her favorite candy, repeatedly saying “Why doesn’t he like me?” Or “Why hasn’t he called/texted me?” Or the worst one, “Why did he hook up with another girl?” As I sit there with my friend talking trash about the loser that did her wrong, it dawns on me. What if the loser, though he is a total loser, isn’t the problem? What if our standards as women are?
1. We lower our standards.
We do it simply because boys won’t raise theirs. Here’s a secret ladies; if we keep our standards high, the boys will have no choice but to raise theirs.
2. We deserve more than we settle for.
A text once a week at 1:45 in the morning asking you “what’s up?” is not enough. You deserve a boy who text you every morning and brings you flowers at four in the afternoon just because he wants to.
3. We have to learn to be alone.
The comfort of your own bed when no one’s lying next to you. The freeing feeling of sitting in the corner of a coffee shop, reading your favorite book.
4. We have to know what we deserve.
We deserve to be fully loved. Fully cared for. Fully appreciated.
5. We have to quit friend-zoning the good guys.
I’m tired of hearing “he’s too nice,” as an excuse to not give the good guys a chance. He doesn’t yell at you? He doesn’t cheat on you? He doesn’t have a high criminal record? And you’re complaining about all this?
6. We deserve to go on actual dates.
To a restaurant. When you’re both sober.
7. We try to missionary date.
Let me tell you something ladies, he will change when HE wants to. He will not change, no matter how much you want him to.
8. We date boys we know don’t have the same values as us.
This is only going to cause problems and fights down the road, save your-self the trouble.
9. We deny when things go wrong.
“He’s having a bad day.” “He’s stressed out.” “He just failed a test.” None of these are excuses for him to treat you badly, absolutely none of them.