15 Mindy Lahiri Quotes That Prove She’s Your Long-Lost Best Friend

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1.

“I fell asleep watching the movie Amélie, and when I woke up, I had spilled so much red wine on myself that I thought for a second that I had been shot.”

2.

“Let’s go talk to the DJ and see if he’ll tell us the wifi password to this place.”

3.

“I’m sorry that I have to admit this, but I’m actually banned from the Lincoln Center. Because apparently there’s a three strikes policy for falling in the fountain.”

4.

“I have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings.”

5.

“It’s so weird being my own role model.”

6.

“Your secret is safe with me—largely because I don’t care, and I’ll probably forget.”

7.

“I’m basically a vegetarian. For moral reasons…I mean, I eat eggs and fish and hamburgers. Never steak.”

8.

“It’s my favorite kind of cake: gigantic.”

9.

“My apartment is the only place I feel safe right now. I have food. I have alcohol. I have 600 channels. And none of them want to hurt me.”

10.

“My body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak, my brain gets angry.”

11.

“Songs should be three minutes long and Nicki Minaj raps in the middle.”

12.

“Note to self: try to change your life today. I’m gonna take the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Or escalator maybe. Baby steps.”

13.

“My TV is broken and I cannot be alone with my thoughts.”

14.

“I am one of those few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.”

15.

“I figure if I’m gonna be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess.”