“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” — Bruce Lee
One year ago, I sat there in silence, realizing that the woman I wanted everything to do with wanted nothing to do with me.
I felt shame and regret as I obsessed about the past, wondering what I could have done differently to change my relationship.
But it was too late. I was getting a divorce.
While my unexpected separation hurt more than anything I’ve ever felt, divorce would soon become the battle scar that allowed me to walk bravely into the flaming fire of love.
Getting burned by the intense flames that fueled my marriage was both powerful and beautiful because it reminded me that love can never be convinced, chased, or controlled.
Our walk into the fire of love is a strange and beautiful dance that forces us to be brave. Intense at first, love’s divine power sparks deep within our souls, calling us to dance.
Anyone who dares to live with an open heart understands what it’s like to run straight into the flames. That feeling you get as you lose yourself in the colorful glow that comes from two humans joined together in the dance of life is breathless.
Selflessness and compromise clash together as the flames burst into joy, anger, sadness, passion, lust, and intensity. At the base of it all is a human need for connection. It is the primary reason why the fire of love is intense, but it is also one of our most daring adventures we can accept.
We all crave unconditional love, yet at the same time, we complain that love we seek doesn’t exist.
The fire of love thrives on freedom, but most of us walk around the flames timid and shy, never fully able to experience all of what love has to offer.
Not because we don’t want to live with an open heart—it’s more that we are afraid of the power of love because we lost trust in ourselves from previous fires.
Love, real love, must not be mistaken for the flame of intensity between two lovers at the sight of lust and desire. Love must be discovered and built over time, fueled together by respect, admiration, and boundaries.
Walking into the flames is confronting. Perhaps our most difficult challenge is understanding and knowing that we can get burned. It’s something we all must face as our ability to dance with love reflects what we believe about ourselves.
If we don’t change our perception of how we view ourselves, then we will have no choice but to get lost in the intensity of the flames because we forget that we are the ones who choose how to build a fire.
It’s incredibly freeing to walk into the fire of love knowing we can get burned, but the intensity of the flame no longer loses us with its glow. The decision to live with an open heart and be willing to walk into the fire of love is a sign of bravery. It’s where we realize our ability to love is not dependent on others, but our hearts and intuitions.
And that maybe one of the most courageous things we can do as humans.