With as much as I would love to be a yogi, busting out headstands like it’s NBD, or a rad surfer that shreds waves like a pro. The reality is, I’m a marathon junkie who conquers finish line after self-accomplishing finish line like a true badass.
Seriously, nothing gets me more hot and bothered than running, however not very many people can “get off” on a 13.1 (let alone 26.2) mile race. I get it, the whole marathon thing is kind of intimidating, which I like to think is why I’ve been single for as long as I’ve been a runner.
I mean, I guess it could also be the stank-ness that fills the air after I return home from a run, or possibly the fact that I’m ALWAYS eating (literally, always). But whatever the case may be, it’s pretty annoying, because in my biased opinion, runners are some of the coolest people I know! They are determined, encouraging and have nothing but love for what they do.
It’s no secret they live in their own world, but I’ll be the first to let you know, it takes a special kind of person to be welcomed into their running realm.
So if you ever find yourself crossing paths with one of these driven athletes, try your best to keep up, because they are the kind of lovers that are guaranteed to sweep your off your blistered feet.
1. They know how to pace themselves to the finish line. Every marathoner knows that slow and steady wins the race. So rather than banging it out real quick, runners take their time and find pleasure with every stride. They grow stronger with each new mile conquering every race with excitement instead of becoming uhh…limp.
2. They are open minded. Runners have the unique ability to get lost in the beauty of their own mind because it’s the only way they are able to forget about the painful chaffing, bleeding toenails, and numb legs.
3. They enjoy a challenge. They always have their eyes on the prize and will go any distance to reach their finish line. Giving up is never an option, and although they may come off a little strong, it’s only because they are willing to fight for what they want.
4. They will eat you under the table. I know I said there is nothing that I love more in this life then running but I lied. Here’s the truth, I love to run because I love to eat. Carbs are my best friend, pizza is my savor and beer is my bitch.
5. They don’t mind getting dirty. Trail Run, Tough Mudder, Spartan Race or even a little Color Run action, we don’t mind getting a little down and dirty.
6. They enjoy the outdoors. Runners view the world as one big treadmill. They love logging those long distance runs with a cool breeze on their back while taking in big deep breaths of natures fresh air.
7. They find pleasure in a little pain. It doesn’t matter how tight their hips or how sensitive their nips, runners will keep pushing it until they reach the tingling feeling of excitement that comes with every finish.
8. They know anything is possible. When I tell people I run 26.2 miles for shits and gigs they look at me like I’m crazy and always respond with “I could never.” The game of running is one big mind fuck. If you think you can’t, you won’t. If you believe you can, you will.
9. They don’t care about how they look. You will never find a runner worried about how flushed their face is or how slim their body looks. We don’t run to look good, we run to feel good— and personally, I feel sexiest when I’m dripping in the saltiness of my own sweat.
10. They don’t compete with others. Believe it or not, runners don’t get intimidated by other runners. Every race is a competition with no one but yourself. You strive for a PR meaning,“personal record” and all the people running next to you are just fellow badasses on the same mission to do their personal best too.
11. They like getting high. Sorry to sound like a stoner, but after every run we have our head in the clouds, a goofy smile on our faces and a mean case of the munchies.
12. They are independent. Runners live in a world of their own. They listen to their own music, they go at their own pace and they use their own willpower to reach the finish line.
13. But they can’t do it alone. I mean yeah I can wake up and run a 26.2 miles alone tomorrow, but do I want to? You can’t have a marathon without a stampede of 30,000 runners, and help from the community. It may seem like I got it all handled, but when it comes to race day I pretty much rely on the adrenaline and energy of others to push me though that finish line.
.1 They will go the extra distance for what they love. That little extra distance at the end of every race makes all the difference.
It’s when your body tends to shut down and you rely on nothing but the passion in your heart to push you through.
Runners may seem bat-shit-crazy for doing what they do, but it’s because they will do anything for what they love.
They will wake up before the rising sun, strive for unimaginable distances and eat that nasty ass goo, all because they live for what they love—which is running (obviously).
Unless you take on the challenge and start to date one of these badass athletes, because then chances are they will love you more than running. (…but definitely not more than eating.)