Smartphones and apps make it so much easier to meet people. Before the digital age, you usually met people through friends, school, work or family members. I’m not saying you can no longer meet people through mutual beings, but we are so consumed with technology and would rather download an app that takes seconds than actually calling someone and going to dinner.
There’s Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Badoo, Okcupid, the list goes on. You name it, someone has an app for it. There are other apps that aren’t targeted towards the dating world, like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Want to know something crazy? I met the last guy that I dated through Instagram. Want to know something even crazier? He didn’t live in the same state as me. In my defense, we had a mutual friend who knew we both existed and knew we were not going to be “catfished.” So technically, we did meet through a friend. With that being said, it already started out to be a long distance relationship.
We dated for less than a year and to be honest, I have learned so much from this relationship than I ever did from my previous ones (and they were much longer). LDRs are hard, emotional and full of self discovery. It ended quicker than I thought because we were going in different directions in life. No hard feelings towards him; we still keep in touch, which is great.
Although it was for less than a year, I wouldn’t have changed any of it for the world. I have no regrets about taking a risk at a long distance relationship.
Here are some obstacles you might come across while in a LDR:
1. It’s expensive
The first thing that comes to mind of being in a long distance is “How will be able to see each other!?” With this economy, it’s pretty hard to travel anywhere if you don’t have any extra money or a credit card with a high limit. Fortunately, I was able to see him twice. I went to Florida during the summer, and we all know Florida is a very popular touristy state. If you and your SO are having trouble with funds, you should split the cost or ask a family member for help. If the distance between you guys isn’t too far, feel free to hop in a car. Road trips are always a fun time.
We all have our days where we just want to lock our selves in our rooms and stay there. You don’t want to talk to anyone. LDRs are extremely difficult because you’re not physically with them. There is always constant communication because if one does not respond or talk for a day, the other would start questioning. Communication is key for any relationship, and it is especially crucial for long distance relationships. Texting isn’t just the only form of communication. Call them, Skype or FaceTime your SO. You could even throw it back to the days before technology and write letters. Get creative!
3. People will give you their unnecessary opinions
You’re gonna hear it, whether you like it or not. Someone out there thinks that you are wasting your time, someone out there will say your SO is out there cheating and will fill your head with lies. Don’t listen to them. Be strong. Know why you are with this person and be confident in your relationship. Long term or short term, you’ll learn a thing or two about yourself.
4. No date night Fridays (or any days)
Unless you guys are visiting each other and it happens to be Friday, then perfect! Typically, you’ll be scrolling through your social media accounts, seeing photos of others SO on their date nights, or tagged at some fancy restaurant. Instead of just moping around, why not get on Skype, grab dinner and have a date night. It’s not the same I know, but it’s beats being sad and eating alone.
5. Find something that will make you feel closer
While he lived in Florida and I live Texas, whenever there was a moon out in the sky, we would both send each other a photo of our view and say “Oh, look what’s out.” Pretty cheesy, I know. It was a way for both of us to feel close and make each other forget the distance. Maybe the moon, stars or sunset could help you. Do whatever it takes to make you feel closer.
6. Break ups will hurt just as bad
I hate to say it, but a majority of LDRs don’t last unless you two move into the same place or state. And when the fire starts to burn out, that’s when a break up starts. Just because the person wasn’t in your life for a majority of the time, the break up can be just as bad. It’s always sad when you lose connection with someone who used to be a huge part of your life. It’ll take time. I promise it will be okay and worth it.
At the end of the day, long distance is pretty much the same as any relationship and involves the same components: trust, communication and passion. If there is someone out there that you want to pursue, I say go for it. It’ll make you a stronger person with a much bigger heart and knowledge of self.