1. The one who doesn’t refill the coffee.
These are the ones who are the first to grab the fresh newly made coffee that SOMEONE else made. These are the ones who will use ALL of the coffee and leave it there half full.
2. The one who always shows off their kid.
They are everywhere if you ever work in the corporate world. Or at any job. The ones who will show their pics of their kid winning an award or doing something “cute” and you’re just there thinking “please kill me.”
3. The one who is always late so you have to do their work.
“Sarah is going to be late, again. Do you mind if you start on her work while she’s on her way?” YEAH SURE.
4. The one who wants to do Happy Hour every day.
They will ask you no matter what. Sometimes you wonder if they have any friends. Often times you wonder how they can afford it while you’re struggling every day ‘til pay day.
5. The one who is trying to be the “fit fam” in the office.
He or she will tell you how many times they went to the gym. How many reps or classes they did in a day. How kale is so much better than anything on earth. Do us all a favor and stop.
6. The one who sings way too loud.
You know what’s worse than sitting in a cube staring at a computer screen for 8+ hours? Having a neighbor who sings REALLY loud. Plot twist, they have earphones plugged in as well.
7. The one who chews loud.
Whether it is gum or chips, they will always make a noise. And it’s not a pretty one either. Sometime you will wonder if you’re at work or at a zoo. Your decision I will not hold account for.
8. The one who only brings napkins and tableware to department parties.
The frugal. The cheaps. I know we all work in the same department. I’m sure some of us make a little more than others but come on. Now I’m not saying you have to spend more than $20 or learn how to manage your money, but it’s a party for a reason.
9. The one who is your friend.
Sadly we do have coworkers who are our friends. He or she will tell you their life story. They will invite you to their place to have dinner. Have girl’s night. In the end, they are the reason you survive at work or the paycheck.
10. The one(s) who doesn’t smile back when you both cross paths.
Those moments when you pass someone in a different department. The one’s where you know the face but can’t fit a name so you throw a little smile. Then boom, they don’t even smile back! It’s just a nice gesture that a lot of people fail to realize.
11. The one who brown-noses the boss.
They will bring donuts for them. They will act like they care about your boss’s personal life. They will even offer to buy lunch. Anything to get the boss’s attention. Or a raise.
12. The one who calls in every day.
Unlike the one who is always late. This asshole just never comes to work! Maybe they have a medical condition (fingers crossed) or they are still hung-over. They just never show up. Also to add whenever you want to ask off, you can’t because that asshole already asked first.
13. The one who acts surprised when they get the promotion.
The Taylor Swift of the office. They knew they were getting a promotion. They. Always. Know.
14. The one who is bitter when they don’t get the promotion.
We all can relate to this asshole. You worked your ass off to get that project done. You came in early and stayed late for a month to get that raise. But sorry, your boss obviously didn’t see that grind so Dylan gets that promotion.
15. The one who doesn’t forget to tell you it’s “X amount of days ‘til Friday.”
If it wasn’t a struggle enough to actually walk through the front door of the building…here you have peppy Sally screaming “Five more days ‘til Friday!” Sally, please, let me have some coffee first.
16. And the one who constantly complains about the coworkers.