I found my old phone in the cabinet today. It’s probably about four years old. I should know; we used to play music from it back in the days when we were just starting to get to know each other. We’d sing along to Katy Perry’s ‘If We Ever Meet Again’ and put Flo Rida’s ‘Club Can’t Handle Me’ on loop. The good old days.
I charged the phone and turned the power on. Albums, inbox, call logs. Our photos, your messages, our conversations. Memories of our happiest days, our sweetest moments, the beginning — the best times of our relationship preserved in my old phone.
Your messages were really long, sweet, and dreamy — sigh-worthy, far from your short “K”s and “c u”s now. And this was back in the day when chat apps weren’t widely used yet, so that’s a penny for your every message.
You said I was the love of your life, that you were happy to have finally met ‘the one.’ You said we’d have a garden wedding, that we’d grow old together. Almost all your texts then were punctuated with “I love you”s. Most of them even lovingly mentioned ‘forever.’
I checked the sent items. My replies were equally cheesy; they echoed your messages. I promised you that I’d love you forever, too. We promised each other a lot of things.
The phone’s album were filled with old photos of our smiling faces, goofy moments, dinner dates, movie marathons, road trips, coffee afternoons, and lazy brunches in different restaurants. We used to restaurant-hop quite a lot back then; we always wanted to try something new together, like what most new couples do. Those were our best times.
Browsing through our old photos, I felt like an outsider looking at two strangers happily in love with each other, like I was trying to remember a dream. Our younger selves looked so happy and contented, as if they weren’t capable of hurting each other and breaking up. They looked foolishly, genuinely in love. We were in love.
But somewhere down the road, we changed and started to break the promises we first made. Every fight left scars that gradually turned our relationship ugly. As the years passed, the spark dwindled. Sweet moments were few and far in between. Happiness gave way to heartaches.
Somewhere down the road, we lost our old selves — the two people who promised each other forever. We’re still together, but not as happy as we used to. It sometimes seemed as if breaking up’s the only possible solution.
But seeing our old memories and revisiting a time when all was perfect between us gave me a sliver of hope. We were happy once; we can be again. If only we could set our pride aside, forgive each other, and forget the wounds of past wrongs, then maybe — just maybe — we can restart our relationship. We can reignite the lost spark.
What we can probably go back to when all seems lost is the beginning. Remember the best and happiest times in the relationship and figure out what went wrong. Then rework, restart.
And when I see you later today,I could bring along the old memories in my phone. I’d take you back to our happiest times. Maybe we both just need a little reminding of our beginning.