Thank You For Not Wanting Me, Now I Want Myself

I want to begin by saying thank you.

Thank you for the memories that you gave me.

Thank you for times you said you loved me.

Thank you for completely breaking my heart.

You might be asking yourself why I would thank you for all of the pain that you have caused me. The times you made me feel like an object rather than a person. The times you treated me terribly in front of our friends. Even the times I still stand in front of the mirror trying to see my reflection but all I can see is you and the way you changed me.

I am thanking you because I would not be the person I am today without you.

You have taught me that you cannot force someone to love you. You cannot be the only one in the relationship willing to try. And you cannot make someone want you for who you really are.

But you can learn how to want yourself.

I have learned how to look at my reflection and love what I see, even if you have changed me. I have learned how it’s okay to dance terribly and sing loudly.  I have learned how to laugh until my sides hurt and how to not be afraid to love again.

I’ve learned that not every boy will hurt me the way you did.

I have learned how to pick up the pieces you left me in and love each and every single one of them — I am not in pieces anymore.

I have learned how to want myself in a way that you were incapable of doing.

So thank you. Thank you for entering my life to teach me how to want every single part of myself. Thank you for watching me walk away.