To The Boy Whose Love Convinced Me To Stay

After 18 months of living and working in New Zealand I was ready to leave, despite the emotional roller coaster I faced. But then I met you. All of a sudden my plans have changed. I’m no longer going solo to Vanuatu, Brisbane and Asia, meeting up with family and friends along the way. I’m staying put, here in New Zealand, on the other side of the world, because of you. You are the one who stopped me.

You, who have stopped my tracks,

You, who have changed my plans,

You, who have rocked my world, and turned it upside down.

I was not planning on this. We met, and I wasn’t sure about you. Sure, I liked you, but I was leaving. Who starts a relationship when they plan to leave in 3 months time? I told you, warned you. I have said many sad goodbyes, and each time they tear my heart a little. I’ve known almost since the beginning that you would do more than that. You would rip it to shreds. Instead, you stitched it together.

What makes two different people gel so well? Why do they click together so quickly? How is that connection so immediate, so strong? I don’t know the answers, but they happened to me. To us. It’s been almost 4 months since the day we met in that bar, when you asked me what I was drinking. It could easily be twice that and more for how close I feel to you. I don’t understand it. In less than 4 months we’ve gone through more than people do in years, we’ve had big, serious decisions to make, and now I am here, at your house.

I’m staying because of you. Because I don’t want to be away from you, because I want you in my life. You’ve put my life in turmoil and changed everything, my plans, my perspective on life. I am a whirlwind in yours, upsetting your normal, making future plans to return to the UK together, further ahead in the future than our past stretches behind us. It’s scary, I’ve fallen for a guy on the other side of the world and I suddenly don’t know what my future holds. What our future holds.

And the truth? The truth is that I am me when I’m with you, I’m happy when I’m with you, and nothing much else seems to matter when I’m with you. Yes, I’m scared about the future, and the craziness that awaits us, but more importantly, I’m excited to see what it brings for us, and for the experiences we will share. You’re the one who’s stopped me in my tracks, changed my life in a huge way. You’ve messed with my mind, but I like it, I’m glad, but most of all, I’m happy. TC mark

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