You know that feeling when you’re like, “I love men so much, I wish it would rain them”? Paul Shaffer does. In this song, he really nails the insatiable lust women have for the chiseled features and muscular bodies men possess. Women may be life givers but they’re life lovers too and Paul courageously pins that broach to their lapel. Instead of being reviled by male fluids for example, Paul has us screaming, “I’m gonna go out. I’m gonna let myself get absolutely soaking wet.” He’s not dwelling on asexual tropes like “No Means No.” He’s expounding a woman’s love of sexual stimulation and shouting, “Yes Means Yes!” Paul’s song is a stunning tribute to the horny side of women and when an infinite number of penises fall from the sky he opens his arms and shouts, “Hallelujah!”
When the “Hell Yeah” comes in after, “Let me get a big ‘hell yeah’ from the redneck girls like me,” you can’t help but think, “John Rich is a genius.” Rich, of the seminal country outfit Big & Rich, wrote this song in 2004 and it’s a powerful shout out to the sisters down South. John understands that although Southern women may not be able to put on airs like Paris Hilton or be as wealthy as his second name, they can still feel sensuous and attractive. “Victoria’s Secret, well their stuff’s real nice” John recognizes before adding, “But I can buy the same damn thing on a WalMart shelf half price. And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV. I don’t need no designer tag to make my man want me.” The way John writes it, you feel like you’d actually be more attractive to men if you were a redneck. That’s how good he is.
Where Paul and John employed a bunch of stupid bitches to sing their songs, Ian Mackaye has the balls to sing “Suggestion” himself. “Raining Men” and “Redneck Woman” celebrate the pleasures of being a woman but “Suggestion” reminds us that it’s often harder than an erection. “Why can’t I walk down the street, free of suggestion?” Ian laments. Being catcalled and constantly seen as a sex object is a tiring nightmare that has driven many a gal to Islam where she can hide her gifts in a burqa. “Suggestion” suggests men look inside a women instead of constantly suggesting they go inside a woman. “Is my body the only trait in the eyes of men?” he asks and then thoughtfully adds, “You spent yourself watching me suffer” which has us wondering if all intercourse is ultimately a form of rape.
Though great on their own, enjoying all three songs together gives us a rounded and full understanding of what it is to be a woman. I think everyone, men and women, have a lot to learn from the likes of Shaffer, Rich, and Mackaye and on behalf of all of us, I’d like to say, thank you.