Hairiest Books Of All Time

Rabbit, Bun

By John Updike 

A tragic tale of losing one’s career and direction, Rabbit, Bun tells the story of Harriet “Rabbit” Angstrom, a 26-year-old ballerina, whose volatile relationship with her coach leads to exile from the New York City Ballet Company. Unsure of where she fits into a society outside of dance, Harriet refuses to wear anything besides her unitard and tights, and for months, never lets her hair out of a bun. From pirouetting down a mall’s escalator to giving her estranged family serious attitudes, Harriet struggles to find meaning in her new life free from chaînés. A novel about truly letting one’s hair down and learning how to gel into a community after loss, John Updike’s Rabbit, Bun masterfully blends tutus and updos to create one of the highlights of 20th century American fiction.

“The power of the novel comes from a sense, not absolutely unworthy of Thomas Hardy, that the universe hangs over our faces like a great set of hopeless bangs. There is real pain in the book, and a touch of awe.” — Norman Mailer, Esquire

Infinite Chest Hair

By David Foster Wallace

Wallace brings obsession, technology, and of course, chest hair to the forefront of intellectual discussion in this monumental book. The voluminous classic begins with an ex-tennis star stumbling across an online GIF of one man combing his massive amount of chest hair. When the GIF goes viral and all of Canada becomes engrossed with the copious amount of chest hair on the mysterious man, the reader witnesses the true, gritty tale of death-by-neglect-of-personal-hygiene-due-to-GIF-obsession during the Year of the Pantene Pro-V. Between halfway houses cropping up across the country for recovering addicts of the Hairy Chest GIF to a futuristic Congress attempting to remove all copies of the GIF from the Internet, in his biggest novel to date, Wallace interlaces plot lines more intricately than your barber’s best weave.

“Truly remarkable… what bearded fun Infinite Chest Hair is to read.” Newsweek

“A big, brilliant book… Wallace is a buzz worthy storyteller.” New York Observer

The Lord of the Ringlets

By J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien’s The Lord of the Ringlets tells the story of the Dark Lord Sauron and his creation of “one ringlet to rule them all.” When the dark wizard bestows this ringlet with all power, chaos ensues, as whoever possesses the lock gains control over the realm of Middle-part. In opposition stands Frodo Shaggins, the lone hobbit that carries an even more powerful set of curls. With Gandalf the Grey Hair, Peregrin “Snippin” Took, and a multitude of other fantastical mane characters, Tolkien takes the reader on a journey of high and tight situations, where good and evil fight for control of Middle-part.

“Filled with big bangs and terrifying trimmers…an extraordinary, distinguished piece of work.” New York Herald Tribune

“For anyone who likes the genre for which it belongs, the Hairoic Quest, I cannot imagine a more wonderful Christmas present…” W.H. Auden, The New York Times Book Review

A Dread in the Family

By James Agee

Published posthumously, A Dread in the Family tells the autobiographical story of a father who returns home from a business trip in Jamaica sporting an unconventional set of dreadlocks. His conservative family from Knoxville, Tennessee is stunned with the drastic change in his lifestyle and aesthetic, tragically leaving him and his newly acquired Bob Marley vinyl. A dread-full novel of loss and courage, Ageedepicts a man coming to grips with his true roots, and the dramatic consequences this change has on a young family. With beautiful prose and adept storytelling, Agee’s novel will be read with a fine-toothed comb for centuries to come.

“For as long as fiction is read, James Agee’s A Dread in the Family stands as a Jamaican masterpiece. There is no stronger, more moving document in our literature than this account of a father’s sudden shift in hairstyle in the early years of our century…” Jayne Anne Phillips

“He is one of those writers who cause other writers’ hair to stand erect and twist into shivering dreads of pure pleasure.” Pat Conroy

Girl With Curious Nair

By David Foster Wallace

A collection of short stories, Girl With Curious Nair ties together themes of pain, detachment, and hair loss like none before its time. With titles including “Hair and There,” a story in which a boy and his barber narrate the process of a haircut simultaneously, Wallace will be remembered as the writer of the hair genre.

“David Foster Wallace shapes-up the short story both sideways and inside out, making the adjectives ‘shear,’ ‘volume,’ and ‘tease’ seem blasé.” T. Coraghessan Boyle

Honorable Mentions:

Skeleton Crew Cuts – By Stephen King

Lord of the No. 5’s – By William Golding

On the Comb – By Jack Kerouac

Falling Shape-Ups – By Shel Silverstein

King Rattail – By James Clavell

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Salon – By J.K. Rowling

The Painted Bird’s Nest – By Jerzy Kosinski

A Wind in the Pompadour – By Madeleine L’Engle

Things Fall: A Part – By Chinua Achebe

The Red Ponytail – By John Steinbeck

Big Perm – By Jack Kerouac

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Buzz Cuts – By J.K. Rowling

Black Mohawk Down – By Mark Bowden

Naked Scrunchie – By William S. Burroughs

The Catcher in the Dye – By J.D. Salinger TC Mark

image – Shutterstock

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