One of the biggest problems people have with honesty is that they expect a reward simply for being honest. Being honest doesn’t mean that the other person is obligated to like what you’ve just said.
There was a beat. Then, in the best parenting save I’ve encountered anywhere ever, my dad replied, “Yeah, sweetie. I don’t know either.” And that’s how I came to believe “oral sex” meant “talking” for the next six or seven years.
Look, kids in the suburbs. I get it. There’s not a whole lot to do other than invent new ways to get messed up. I was a teenage “rebel” once. My sister and her friends used to pound Red Bull and have “hyper parties.” I had a guy friend who used to try and smoke banana peels. One time, I attempted to get drunk off my dad’s O’Douls.
Sometimes I think what a shame it is that comment sections didn’t exist back when classic authors were writing their masterpieces. What a wealth of hilarious and insightful critiques we’re missing out on.
You get to have sex with Jennifer Lawrence. Did you see that Madrid El Hormiguero interview where she fired a bow and arrow while wearing high heels? I popped twelve boners and I don’t even have one boner.
If we don’t get to do the things you find most fun, I will feel immensely guilty as a hostess. So you have to give me somewhere to start. Saying, “I don’t know. Show me around! Whatever you want to do!” makes me feel 100 percent responsible for your good time.
Stop approaching women who are alone on the street. Stop hollering at women “from the passenger side of your best friend’s ride,” as TLC would say. When has this ever turned out well for you?
AV Concepts built a realistic “hologram” version of the rapper. As cool as the technology is, I have to say I’m in the minority here: the whole thing creeped me out.
If you’re like every other woman, you frequently walk around looking hot only to suddenly stop and sigh with frustration, “Golly, my body is such a problem.” Fear no more, ladies.