Look, I love Stars Wars. As Jack Donaghy once said about Phil Collins, “I have two ears and a heart don’t I?” Well, anyone with two eyes and a heart treasures those films. The ORIGINAL films. I like to pretend the prequels don’t exist. In fact, many moons ago, I asked Han Solo himself what he thought of the prequels and he told me that was a “trick question.” Bless him.
But now that Disney has bought Lucasfilm, the series’ creator George Lucas’ production company, for more than 4 billion dollars, a new Star Wars film is expected to hit theaters in 2015.
I say let it die. Please let it die. As much as I love Star Wars, as much as I, of course, want more of that universe, I have to believe they can never replicate the magic of the original three films and they should just stop painfully trying. Like this:
“Our long term plan is to release a new Star Wars feature film every two to three years,” Disney CEO Robert E. Iger said in a statement.
This makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Lucas says his goal here is to be able to pass Star Wars on to a new generation. Which, great. But here’s my problem with this argument: Why not just show kids the originals? Why do we have to tailor it to their newly-ADD addled minds? I was “too young” to appreciate the movies, but I saw the originals as a kid and I fell in love with them. That’s all I needed. Nothing fancy.
If you want to to introduce Star Wars to a new generation, let them watch A New Hope like the goddamn rest of us did.
This is like the justification people make for the never-ending barrage of biopics about James Dean or Marilyn Monroe; that it introduces the icons to a new generation, that it’s why all college kids put the same classic posters on their walls. But I always just think, why not watch Rebel Without A Cause or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes? Why do we need to be spoon-fed things by James Franco or through the lens of “new” versions? Why can’t we trust the new generation to appreciate the stuff the old generation produced? If you want your kids to love Star Wars, show them Star Wars. You don’t need to sugarcoat it. And you don’t need to update it constantly.
/End grumpy old man rant. Cue the new Jar Jar Binks, I guess. Ugh.