The Funniest Stand Up Comedy Bits About Food

Is it hack to talk about food? I don’t care. Food jokes are hilarious to me and I like almost all of them. If you can spin stand up comedy gold out of something as general as food? I am in.

Since I’m hungry today, I thought I’d compile the best comedy bits about food for your listening and viewing pleasure. Enjoy them while eating a bowl of pasta or a plate of chicken or hell, even an old Jolly Rancher you found behind your bed. These jokes are hilarious and delicious.

Patton Oswalt – KFC Bowl

Patton Oswalt has the ultimate food joke. If you haven’t heard him talk about the KFC bowl, treat yourself.

Jim Gaffigan – Hot Pockets

Jim Gaffigan is the KING of jokes about food. On the top of his bejeweled and fried throne is the Hot Pocket joke to end all food jokes. Just watch any of Gaffigan’s stand up if you want to hear about eating, but for the ultimate in a buffet of wonderful, check out the Hot Pocket bit.

Ellen DeGeneres – Airline Food

A tired topic made awesome and charming by a hilarious lady. Airline food is the worst, guys! I’m so glad comedy was here to tell us this basic truth.

Gary Gulman – Cookies & Grapefruit

Gary Gulman can make jokes about literally anything but his bits about grapefruit and sugar cookies go far beyond where you think any comedian can take “mundane” topics. Oh you thought there was nothing funny to say about fruit salad? You’d be wrong.

Maria Bamford – Cooking

Maria Bamford is worried about Paula Deen’s use of sugar and butter. She also can’t cook. Her miming of spraying cheese and box wine into her mouth at the same time is sadly my life.

Brian Regan – PB&J

Brian Regan is known for being a clean comic so writing jokes about food seems about right. These two bits about peanut butter and jelly being in the same jar, and about a lady working at a donut shop are two of the best off his Live! CD.

Wanda Sykes – Carbs

Cutting carbs sucks. It’s the worst. Wanda Sykes breaks down why she can never listen to her trainer and get rid of carbs in her diet. Can’t embed, so go here.

Paul F. Tompkins – Stromboli & Pie Vs. Cake & Peanut Brittle

Stromboli might be my favorite joke ever ever ever. I am obsessed with it. I love PFT so much and have met him and he follows me on Twitter so…pretty neat. (I also dressed as him for Halloween and called myself “Girl F. Tompkins.” This love runs deep.) But anyway, here’s his greatest food bit. And also another great one called Cake Vs. Pie from his new album, Freak Wharf. And ah, here’s another called Peanut Brittle. Just go buy his albums.

Kyle Kinane – Cheddar Bay Biscuits

I can’t embed this from Comedy Central so here you go. Kyle Kinane is hilarious. His story about joining the FB fan page of Cheddar Bay Biscuits the day Michael Jackson died is so specific and well-written and weird. Is this a sign of the end of days? Probably.

Aziz Ansari – Cold Stone Creamery

One of Aziz Ansari’s most popular bits is about the bizarre cult of Cold Stone Creamery. “They take ice cream and they go apeshit with it,” he says. Waaaay too intense.

Pete Holmes – Adults Eating Candy

Pete Holmes is about to have a late night show following Conan so pretty soon everyone’s gonna know about him, but back in the day he was an underground treasure. His bit about adults who eat candy is so silly and funny. How can someone eating a Fireball give real estate advice?

Dave Chappelle – Chicken and Grape Drink

Not shy about tackling racial stereotypes, Dave Chappelle breaks down the different food choices of different races. And why that’s not a good reason to hate anybody. (I mean, duh, who hates chicken?)

Hannibal Buress – Pickle Juice

You ever spray pickle juice on a sandwich? Hannibal Buress has. It’s not weird! It adds flavor. Don’t throw it away! He was saving that pickle juice. Jerk!

Janeane Garofalo – Evil Cake

“YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THAT CAKE HERE!” Why are women so afraid of cake? Janeane Garofalo posits this bit as a riff, but it’s too funny not to be a thought out joke. It also won’t let me embed so here’s the link.

Louis CK – Cinnabon

Louis CK is great at self-deprecating humor so why not make fun of his addiction to Cinnabon sticky buns? For those that don’t understand the allure of cinnamon buns? Stay away. Stay far away. TC Mark


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  • Alex

    Eddie Murphy talking about his dad eating the toys that his grandad brought home from work is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

    • Gaby Dunn

      Oh man, and his hamburgers bit. I can’t believe I forgot it.

      • Alex

        Gives you a perfect excuse to write a part 2 right?? :)

  • Rebecca

    Really? You chose the KFC Bowl Patton Oswalt bit over his Black Angus bit? That shit has me crying I laugh so hard.

  • Brian Donovan

    Other notable omissions: Chris Rock’s The Biggest Piece of Chicken, and perhaps one of the best stand up bits ever, Billy Cosby’s Chocolate Cake. Also Woody Allen’s bit about the Vodka Ad, if liquor counts as food.

  • Brian Donovan

    OH! And Kevin Meaney’s chunk about NY Cheesecakes always cracked up. And John Pinette, a guy who’s act is almost entirely about food, has 30 killer minutes about buffets. OK, I’ll stop now.

    • Gaby Dunn

      Great ones. Matt Knudsen has a hilarious buffet joke too.

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  • guest

    As much as Dane Cook sucks, the chicken strips bit is pretty funny. Also, no list is complete without Mitch Hedberg, and he has quite a few jokes about food (“a rotisserie is like a Ferris Wheel of death for chickens.”) I was looking for Aziz’ bit re: coldstone as soon as I opened this article, so good call there. Gotta have it.

    • Gaby Dunn

      I had Hedberg on animal crackers but I couldn’t find a clip!

  • Mom

    John Pinette is hysterical!

  • Mom

    When we saw Gaffigan trying out new material, didn’t he do a hysterical buit about McDonald’s?

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