You freaky freaks came out in droves in response to Part 1 of The Hottest Male Animated Characters. And dayum, were your flags flying. You guys are some nasty cartoon-lusting biddies and gents. So! I decided to hurry and do a follow-up.
Plus, I felt like I had to hara-kiri myself after realizing I’d left off Sterling Archer and Flynn Rider. (Though to be fair, I did say nostalgia played a part and those two are recent cartoon babes.) Anyway, you guys clambered for it so here it is: Part 2. Junior Varsity. The B-Team hotties.
PS: If you wanna see one of these posts for anime panty-droppers, email me at email@example.com. I don’t know anything about anime and I’d be open to someone submitting their own version of this so I can post it here! Crowd-source that jam.
Archer can be SUCH a pain in the butt. He’s a whiny, entitled brat who treats everyone like they owe him something. (“Lana, Lana, Lana…. Danger zone!”) He works as a secret agent but is under his mother’s thumb so deep his issues would need a jackhammer and a drill to get to. But he’s also HOT. His body is incredible and he’s pretty consistently drawn in his tight black underwear. As long as he keeps his mouth shut, Archer could get it.
Kovu from Lion King 2
Simba, the hero of The Lion King made the original list, but that was not enough for you guys. You want the bad boys. The dark souls. The twisted misters. I hear ya. Though I have not seen The Lion King 2, I’ve read that Kovu is the adopted son of Scar (even though they look super alike?) and that he’s seen as a hardened badass, but is really just a melty woobie on the inside. He’s also got a literal scar on his face. Hot.
Drew Pickles from Rugrats
This suggestion came from TC’s Steph Georgopulos. At first I was like, whaaaaat. Girl. But then we Googled some pictures of him and… yeah, kind of hot. The fourth link that comes up when you Google “Drew Pickles,” by the way, is a Facebook group called “Drew Pickles from Rugrats was definitely gay.” He’s also become some kind of meme, though I can’t figure out what it’s about. Anyway, gay or straight, meme or not, Drew was hot. (And completely whipped by his domineering, success-driven wife. If you’re into that sort of thing.)
Chalky is that rare popular kid who isn’t an a-hole. He’s popular because he really is super well-liked, good at sports and friendly. Beyond that pale green skin, I always suspected Chalky was a handsome fellow. He’s also a perfectionist and star football player, whose biggest storyline revolved around him cracking under the pressure and cheating off Doug during a test. Yikes. Plus, he had SUCH a complex about living up to his older brother. Aw, poor Chalky. Come to mama.
If you like ’em built, Brock Samson’s the cartoon babe for you. Charged with taking care of two idiot brothers, Samson also has infinite patience. In a flashback, it was revealed that Dr. Venture and Brock were actually college roommates. Needless to say, Brock spent most of that time playing football and getting laid. He’s a sex and killing machine.
Fred from Scooby Doo
I don’t generally dig blondes, but Fred is the original recipe hot cartoon. Fred’s a man of mystery and not just because he solves them. Is he gay? Is he boning Daphne? Truthfully, I’ve always kind of had a soft spot for Shaggy too. He’s more my skinny, stoner speed. Ah, judging by the amount of Scooby Doo porn on the internet, that whole crew was killin’ it sexually.
Milo from Atlantis
Oh… oh boy. Where do I begin? Milo is right up my alley in every way. Those glasses. That nerdiness. Those sinewy arms. Milo is a cartographer, academic and linguist voiced by Michael J. Fox (80s unf) who falls in love with a princess of Atlantis, Avatar-style. I can’t believe I initially forgot about Milo because he is my type to a T. Wow.
Roger from 101 Dalmatians
A little obscure, but I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one who LOVED bachelor composer Roger Dearly from 101 Dalmatians. He’s musical. He’s wirey. He loves dogs. (Must!) He made every girl want to meet her husband when their dogs’ leashes tangle together adorably at the park. Rock that sweater vest, babe.
Super fox. Pun. Intended.
The Batman Beyond babe is so handsome it’s unnerving. Batman’s protege is dark and chiseled like Gotham’s knight should be, but man. I’m having trouble understanding why the protagonist on a kids’ show was drawn so… gorgeously. He’s like a cartoon Taylor Lautner or something. Batman beyond, indeed. What an upgrade.
Hercules is the most straightforward animated hunk. He’s all muscles, if you like that in a dude. I don’t know why Megara tried to fight her natural pheromonal attraction to Herc. Give in, girly. No, no way, I won’t say I’m in loooove. (Okay, yeaaah, I will.)
The number one name people have been berating me for forgetting. Totally, guys. Yes. Flynn from Tangled is a bit new school for me, but you can’t deny pretty when you see it. I’m sorry, people! I have seen the error of my ways. I bow before the statue of Zachary Levi. Flynn Rider for the win.